Cause of the Day #vote
At last, at last! It’s voting day at last! You see, I have a dream. It involves not having my intelligence insulted every single time I turn on the damn TV. I mean, more than usual.
For the United States it is voting day at last.
As early as tomorrow freedom will ring across the land as all the political ads will finally stop running. Yes, for once in my life, I’ll be happy to hear about side effects (up to and including death), how much money I won’t have in my retirement and garments specially designed for Americans and made in China so they can inhale whole containers of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream (where a pint is still 16 ounces) and finger the remote control – all at the same time!
This day brings a lot of craziness.
I’m not going to miss the ads. Let’s take a look at Measure WTF. Ostensibly this measure was brought to the ballot via the citizen initiative process. What does that mean? Most likely that paid canvassers collected the signatures. What’s that? I love the smell of democracy in the morning.
Look Who’s Running For Office
Pre-political hair.
It’s that time again. That time when we say, “What the? I didn’t know that guy could comb his hair!”
Yep. People are announcing their intentions to run for public office.
Here are a few notable newbies I’ve noticed so far.
Clay Aiken
The crooner from American Idol Season 2 lost in the finale by the slimmest of margins to some guy I no longer remember. Yes, he came in second, but he’s the one with staying power. So we’ll call that a wash.
Combed.
Aiken will be running against incumbent Republican Renee Ellmers in North Carolina’s 2nd District who already took a shot at his “runner up” history.
He’s so serious about this run that he sanitized his Twitter account, but websites are already publishing some of the tweets where he apparently had second thoughts. The internet is forever, Clay.
Quote:
I’m running for Congress for the same reason I chose to become a special education teacher years ago — to help people in need and to give them a voice.
–Clay Aiken
Victoria Jackson
You might remember her as an adorable cast member from Saturday Night Live. These days Victoria Jackson is a Tea Party conservative who is “very disappointed with the Republican party.” I looked at the list of “memorable characters” she played on SNL but I literally don’t remember any of them.
Jackson has filed to run for an independent position on a board of commissioners in Williamson County, Tennessee.
Quote:
I think I will fit in quite easily with (the current county commission). I went to the dentist recently and there was a Bible in the lobby of the dentist office. … I love this town [Thompson’s Station]. My two favorite things are here — Jesus and show business.
–Victoria Jackson
Wendy Davis
Technically not a newbie, Wendy Davis is a state-level politician who has announced that she’s running for the Governor of Texas. As a Democrat. In Texas.
She’s most famous for her 11-hour filibuster attempt in 2013 to block abortion legislation.
The incumbent, Rick Perry, has announced he won’t be seeking re-election. That will make this the first open election for governor in Texas since 1990.
Quote:
I was living as a young single mom. I was 19 when I was divorced, and my daughter was a year old, and I waited tables here three to four nights a week for several years while I was trying to support myself and my daughter and the day I got that acceptance at Harvard Law School was an unforgettable day.
–Wendy Davis
Sandra Fluke
Oops. Apparently Sandra Fluke filed the other day for the California congressional seat currently held by Rep. Henry Waxman. Today, however, it is being reported that she has changed her mind. False alarm.
Fluke, described as “an attorney and women’s rights activist” on Wikipedia, was refused the opportunity to testify to before a congressional committee about insurance plans and birth control. Later, talk show host Rush Limbaugh famously referred to her as a “slut.”
Quote:
Because we spoke so loudly, opponents of reproductive health access demonized and smeared me and others on the public airwaves. These smears are obvious attempts to distract from meaningful policy discussions and to silence women’s voices regarding their own health care.
–Sandra Fluke
Anyone else?
Who did I overlook? Are there any other people who have filed for office or potential candidates I may have missed? Which candidates do you find particularly interesting?
Handy Dandy Republican Primary Presidential Cheat Sheet Crib Notes Voting Guide
Deciding is hard. Now you don’t have to!
The social scientists of the Abyss have been hard at work putting together the following guide to help you make sense of this confusing Republic primary. Should you vote for Mitt? Newt? Who the hell knows?
Now you do. Simply follow this chart and everything will turn out fine.
Thinking is hard and overrated. So don’t try.
You’re welcome!
Tiny poll dancer
I have formed an exploratory committee to examine the possibility of changing my avatar.
Exploratory. Now that’s a butt-clenching word if ever there was one. If you know what I mean. But it is the word I have chosen and quite fitting for someone like me, I think.
Avatar. Another interesting word. As I learned from James Cameron, it loosely translates to “I see you” in English.
In other words, my avatar image is how you see me. It’s a pretty big deal.
Since I’m thinking about changing my avatar, I thought I’d break out the poll feature for the first time ever and find out what my reader thinks. The poll feature can handle only one vote, right?
This post also represents my contribution to the science of bracketology in honor of “March Madness” that will soon be upon us. Look, we’re already down to the final two. The winner goes on and the loser has to suck it.
Current avatar for yours truly
Proposed avatar for yours truly
Thank you so much for voting. That is one of the greatest privileges in our democracy and even here in the Abyss.
I voted for Obama
I’m not afraid to admit it. I voted for Barack Obama.
Am I especially proud of it? Naw. It was just a vote. I don’t want to be contrary to the greater wisdom being spun by the Bitchers. (Hey look, shiny new lingo.) They are frothing at the mouth to paint my vote as so much more. It was just a vote. And guess what? I’d even do it again.
Have I lost faith with Obama? No. I’d still vote for him again. Most likely I’ll vote for him in 2012. Do I agree with everything he’s done? No. But more than any mistakes or weaknesses in Obama, I cry foul of the extra loud devicive voices. Yes, for people who used to label critics “traitors” and say that questioning the president was “treason,” all of the sudden those same people feel that dissent is the new cool.
Shouts from the Abyss 
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