Author Archive: Tom B. Taker

ChatGPT does my tarot reading

I asked ChatGPT to perform a tarot reading while concentrating on my career. It was happy to oblige.

Background: I have resigned my current job and will soon be looking for a new one.

Great, let’s see what the tarot cards reveal about the future of your career.

I will do a three-card spread to give you a past, present, and future perspective on your career.

The Past: The Nine of Pentacles

The Nine of Pentacles represents a time of financial and material abundance. In the context of your career, this card suggests that you have experienced success and financial stability in the past. You may have worked hard to achieve this level of success, and it’s possible that you have enjoyed the fruits of your labor.

The Present: The Four of Pentacles

The Four of Pentacles represents holding on to material possessions and being overly cautious with finances. In the context of your career, this card suggests that you may be feeling stuck or stagnant in your current position. You may be hesitant to take risks or pursue new opportunities for fear of losing what you have.

The Future: The Ace of Swords

The Ace of Swords represents new beginnings and mental clarity. In the context of your career, this card suggests that you will have a breakthrough or a new opportunity that will require you to use your intellect and problem-solving skills. This could be a new job offer or a promotion that requires you to take on more responsibility.

Overall, the tarot suggests that you have had success and financial stability in the past, but you may be feeling stagnant in your current position. However, the Ace of Swords in the future position suggests that you will have a breakthrough or a new opportunity that will require you to use your intellect and problem-solving skills. This could be an exciting time for you, and it’s important to remain open to new opportunities and take calculated risks when necessary.

Woke Me Up Before You Go Go

Setting: [Central Perk, where the six friends are seated on the iconic orange sofa.]

Rachel: [scrolling through her phone] Did you guys hear about this new term “woke”? Apparently, it’s like being super aware and conscious of social issues.

Joey: [confused] Wait, so you’re telling me I have to stay awake all the time to be woke?

Monica: [laughing] No, Joey. It means being aware of the injustices in society and actively working to fix them.

Phoebe: [nodding] Yeah, like how I only wear vegan-friendly clothes and never eat meat. I’m woke.

Ross: [sarcastically] Oh, great. So, if I order a pepperoni pizza, I’m suddenly not woke?

Chandler: [jokingly] Yeah, Ross. You’re canceled.

Rachel: [chuckles] I think being woke is more about empathy and understanding towards marginalized communities.

Joey: [still confused] But how can I be woke if I don’t even know what marginalized means?

Monica: [exasperated] Joey, just be a decent human being and treat everyone with respect and equality.

Phoebe: [smiling] Yeah, and if you ever feel lost, just remember: “Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, what are they feeding you?”

Ross: [facepalms] I think we just lost the entire meaning of being woke.

Chandler: [smirking] As usual, we started with good intentions and ended up making a mockery of it.

[The group laughs and continues their coffee break, realizing that sometimes it’s okay to not take themselves too seriously.]

For Those About To Rock

The Angry Rock

Once upon a time, there was an angry rock named Rocky. Rocky was furious with the world because he had been stuck in the same place for centuries. He had watched as the world around him changed and evolved, but he remained the same. He was tired of being overlooked and stepped on, and he was determined to make his presence known.

One day, a group of hikers came along and saw Rocky. They marveled at his size and shape, but they did not understand the anger that boiled within him. They climbed on top of him to take a picture, and Rocky could not take it anymore. He shook and shifted, causing the hikers to lose their balance and fall to the ground. They scurried away, and Rocky was pleased with his newfound power.

The next day, a group of scientists came to study Rocky. They took measurements and samples, but they did not realize the danger they were in. As they drilled into Rocky, he became more and more agitated. Suddenly, he shook violently, causing the scientists to fall into a deep crevasse. They were injured and trapped, and Rocky was pleased with his revenge.

But Rocky’s satisfaction was short-lived. The scientists’ team sent out a rescue party, and they found the trapped scientists. They also discovered the source of the disaster: the angry rock. The rescue party realized that Rocky was a danger to anyone who came near him, and they decided that he needed to be destroyed.

Rocky fought back with all his might, but it was no use. The rescue party had explosives, and they detonated them at the base of Rocky. He crumbled into dust and rubble, and his anger was silenced forever.

In the end, Rocky’s anger had consumed him. He had wanted nothing more than to be noticed and respected, but his actions had led to his demise. His story serves as a reminder that anger can be a dangerous and destructive force, and that it is important to find healthy ways to deal with it.

Pregnant, pregnant, pregnant!

The scene opens with Marcia, the oldest daughter of the Brady Bunch, looking worried and stressed as she walks into the living room. Her parents, Carol and Mike, notice her distressed state and ask her what’s wrong.

Marcia hesitates before admitting that she might be pregnant. Her parents are taken aback by the news and try to comfort her, but they’re clearly worried themselves.

Just then, Greg, the oldest son, enters the room and notices the tense atmosphere. He asks what’s going on, and Marcia blurts out that she might be pregnant.

Greg’s eyes widen in shock, and he exclaims, “Whoa, man, that’s not groovy at all!”

Mike and Carol exchange a concerned look, unsure how to explain the birds and the bees to their children. Before they can say anything, Jan, another Brady daughter, walks in with a package of pregnancy tests.

“I got these at the pharmacy,” Jan says excitedly. “Let’s find out for sure!”

The family gathers around as Marcia takes the test, and they wait anxiously for the results. Finally, the test shows a negative result, and everyone lets out a sigh of relief.

Greg looks around, confused, and asks, “So wait, Marcia’s not pregnant? Then what’s the big deal?”

The family shares an awkward laugh and Carol tries to explain the situation to Greg, but they all agree that it’s better to wait until he’s a little older to have that conversation.

The scene ends with the family hugging and Marcia looking relieved that her pregnancy scare was just a false alarm, and Greg saying, “Phew, man, that’s groovy news!”

The Biohazard Vault

In a remote and secretive laboratory located in the heart of the Amazon rainforest, a group of scientists work tirelessly to study some of the deadliest viruses known to man. They have developed a state-of-the-art facility, known as the Biohazard Vault, which is equipped with the latest technology to keep these viruses contained and prevent any accidental outbreaks.

Dr. Sarah Reed is a brilliant virologist who has been studying these viruses for years. She is the head of the research team at the Biohazard Vault and has dedicated her life to finding a cure for some of the world’s deadliest diseases.

One day, while working in the lab, Sarah notices something strange happening with one of the viruses. It seems to be mutating at an unprecedented rate, and she realizes that it could potentially break out of the containment chamber and cause a global pandemic. As she investigates further, she discovers that someone has been tampering with the virus, intentionally causing it to mutate.

Sarah is forced to team up with a group of mercenaries to track down the culprit and stop them before it’s too late. They must venture deep into the Amazon rainforest, where they face numerous dangers, including deadly animals and hostile tribes.

As Sarah and her team get closer to the truth, they uncover a conspiracy involving a powerful pharmaceutical company that wants to profit from the virus by releasing it onto the world. Sarah and her team must race against time to stop the company from unleashing the virus, and find a way to cure those who have already been infected.

Hyppo and Critter: Hard Words


The world’s greatest stakes

Stilke Hermann Anton - Joan of Arc's Death at the Stake

I ordered well done!

Hey there, ya filthy varmint! How the hell are you doing? Oops, I get ahead of myself.

Welcome to Tom’s Stakes. The world’s greatest stakes! The stakes have never been higher. That’s why I’m raising the stakes!

That don’t even make sense, ya idiot!

Tom’s Stakes are truly a rare find.

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