Tag Archives: rock

You Must Present

I like this image. No disrespect to Pankaj Ghemawat is intended.

I like this image. No disrespect to Pankaj Ghemawat or the Eight Percent is intended.

These days, if you decide to come after Twitter, you had best bring your A-game. You gotta have cred. Because, when the shit hits the fan, you have a grand total of .42 seconds to capture the attention of that potential follower or lose ’em forever.

You get one chance. One!!

Strike while the iron is hot. Seize the day. Squeeze lemonade out of their lemons. Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.

That’s where I come in. My latest business idea will give you insta-playa status. Make the jump for our special presentation or choose the path that leads to dying alone.

Continue reading →

#Travel: Cornering #Oregon – #photography

portland-astoria-loopOregonians know well the distinctive shape of their state. It’s found on key chains, souvenir shot glasses, business logos, decorative plates and innumerable wood-carved thingies. I feel bad for states like Colorado that have an outline about as exciting as a rectangle.

Colorado, Wyoming and Utah are the only states which have boundaries defined solely by lines of latitude and longitude. (Thanks for the arcane knowledge, Wikipedia!)

After hearing about all of the sunny and warmer days that have been happening on the Oregon coast, this weekend my wife and I decided to go see for ourselves. The plan was to leave cold and foggy Portland behind and go all the way around the NW corner of that unique Oregon shape.

Here are a few photographs from the trip. I’ve left them full-size to they can be clicked to enlarge.

portland-skyline

The Portland Oregon skyline on the way out of town.

Continue reading →

Shut Down On This

schoolhouse-rock-billShall we play a game?

Before we can play, we need to know a few things. Like, what is a game? My attempt at a definition would be something like this:

Game – A competitive activity with participants, rules and objectives, and outcomes which are determined by strength, skill, or luck. A game is an activity severely perverted by the presence of humans.

Certain outcomes are deemed to be of value, others are not. The outcomes we like are known as winning. The ones we don’t are losing.

Too much emphasis on winning and losing can make the game unpleasant or even harmful, usually to the detriment of the “loser” but also, in many cases, to both sides.

I postulate that a game without rules is meaningless. If we sit down to a nice game of chess and you declare your opening move, “My pawn jetpacks above the board, whips out dual blasters and lazer-beams all your bitches” before sweeping my pieces to the floor, you have not won the game. At least not in terms of the defined rules.
Continue reading →

Haiku Are From Mars

Mars_surface

Red dust blossoms lander

Solitary colonist flips switches

Home sweet home

No Polo – Lotto Luck

Photo credit: Tom B. Taker. Click to enlarge.

Do not bring up politics. Do not bring up politics. Do not bring up politics.

Ah, shit. I just pooched it three times.

There’s no place like home.

Laying in bed this morning I was thinking about my next blog post. I decided whatever the cost, it must not be about politics. So I decided to burst into song:

Tax cuts on the rich and hikes for the poor (no polo)
And you don’t want to endure years more four (no polo)
Spend your days fighting the right to abort (no polo)
Traders taking loses because their positions are short (no polo)

Or, maybe not.

Without further ado, the topic for today’s post is: The Lotto. (We writers call this a “segue.”)

My hypothesis: Each of us is born with X amount of “lotto luck” which we can use up in various ways. When it’s all used up, it’s gone. And when it’s all gone you win no more lotto. Evar.

I’ll illustrate with a short story about how I used up all of my lotto luck and took a major karma hit all at the same time. (I was an early multitasker.)

The wonderful content awaits just a stone’s throw away for those willing to make the jump.
Continue reading →

Lyrical poetry: Pondscum

Pondscum's CakeToday I offer for your consideration a piece I wrote circa 2002. I really poured my heart and soul into this one so please try to offer your criticisms in a kind, thoughtful manner.

Obviously this piece was intended and destined to be a hardrock/pop song. It would be recorded in the style of Disturbed or perhaps Dope. At least that’s how I always envisioned it.

Of course this piece has nothing to do with me. That’s my special gift as a songwriter. Somehow I have the ability to empathetically inhabit the characters and situations that I create.

I sincerely hope you will enjoy this lyrical diversion.

I’m sure it’ll be a big, big hit.

PONDSCUM
by Tom B. Taker

you made the money
i screwed around
you paid the bills
i slowed you down

you did the work
i wasted time
you bossed me
i lost my mind

[chorus]
i’m pondscum!
i’m pondscum!
i’m pondscum!
i am what you made me

you were responsible
i was a flake
you made decisions
i made mistakes

you were right
i was wrong
you held the cards
i didn’t belong

[chorus]
i’m pondscum!
i’m pondscum!
i’m pondscum!
look where you led me

[angry metal guitar bridge]

[repeat chorus]

[shouting]
see ya around, “mom”

Short Story: The Ugly Rock #BlogShorts

The Ugly Rock
by Tom B. Taker

The rock was ugly. Absurdly so. For millenia it existed in this idyllic setting.

An ant commuted nearby. The rock hated it. Flipping itself over, it landed on the ant.

This post is part of the BlogShorts challenge. June 2011 – 30 stories – 30 words – 30 days.