Tag Archives: termination

How Will You Quit?

work-force-graph

Hello, 80-20, my old friend. You still remember me.

Unless you’re a freak, you’ve spent a good portion of time at your current job daydreaming about how you’ll quit.

Not if or when. But how.

It is inevitable. It is unavoidable. It is your destiny.

Quitting is the winning.
–Tom B. Taker

I’m not sure about the point of this exercise, though. It’s not like I’ve ever actually done any of the things I’ve imagined. And, trust me on this, I’ve imagined quite a bit.

Worse, when quittin’ time invariably does roll around, I get all squeamish and nervous and icky and mealymouthed. I don’t enjoy confrontation. Hey! I just had an idea. Is it possible to call in sick for quitting? Now that’s some truly officer thinking.

My wife has been thinking about quitting. (News flash.) This morning she floated the idea about bringing her drumming group in with her to provide accompaniment for the experience. I had to admit that was a fine idea. Beat those drums of war, baby.

Now the wheels in my head are turning. And I want to know:

What exciting plans have you made for how you’ll quit? Even if you’re like me and a big, big chicken, at least you can share here, in the safety of pure negativity, what you would do if you had the guts.

How would you do it? I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.
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Facebook is the new creepy

Click image to see the rest of this funny from The Joy of Tech.

Facebook. The nightmare that won’t go away. Even the name gives me the heebie-jeebies. Let’s break it down.

“Face.” Bingo! Right out of the gate they reach in for the jugular and pull the ripcord hard. So we know straight up this isn’t exactly going to be the most subtle experience around. The face is the one part of myself I hate the most. Don’t look at me! I am an animal!

“Book.” They want you to think tomes here. As in a dusty librarian gettin’ all up in the grill of knowledge. That’s what they want you to think. That it’s a noun. In actuality, however, it’s a verb. An ominous motherfucking verb. As in: “Make an official record of the name and other personal details of (a criminal suspect or offender).”

Check it: People who use Facebook are voluntarily lining up like pigs to the slaughter to check themselves into jail. Fact: The original name proposed for Facebook was Lemmings-R-Us.

No wonder Facebook is in the news so often.

Now you must poke the jump if you ever hope to find your way to the like button for this post.
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Termination Tuesday – All Good Things

Sponsored by Preparation H.

Termination is such sweet sorrow.
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Termination Tuesday – The Super Bowel I

Sponsored by Preparation H.

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Termination Tuesday – The Spinal Four – Week 2 – Slaughter Conference


It’s time for grizzly bone-crushing fun!

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Termination Tuesday – The Spinal Four – Week 1 (Sudden Death) – Execution Conference


It’s time for sudden death!
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Termination Tuesday – The Spinal Four – Week 1 – Execution Conference


Let’s get ready to rumble!!
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