BlogFestivus – Day Eight: The Reindeer Before Easter
The Reindeer Before Easter
by Tom B. Taker
Blixem was melancholy. Another winter and it was the same old thing. A whole year of preparing for one crazy night. He was in a rut deep enough to hang Christmas stockings. He wandered aimlessly away from Christmas Town followed by his pet, Hooman.
He trudged all night without purpose through the snow until he found himself in a forest. Then, at dawn, he stumbled into a strange grove of trees. They were arranged in a circle and each contained a door with a mysterious symbol.
“What’s this?” Blixen said. “It’s someplace new!”
Continue reading →
Facebook is the new creepy
Click image to see the rest of this funny from The Joy of Tech.
Facebook. The nightmare that won’t go away. Even the name gives me the heebie-jeebies. Let’s break it down.
“Face.” Bingo! Right out of the gate they reach in for the jugular and pull the ripcord hard. So we know straight up this isn’t exactly going to be the most subtle experience around. The face is the one part of myself I hate the most. Don’t look at me! I am an animal!
“Book.” They want you to think tomes here. As in a dusty librarian gettin’ all up in the grill of knowledge. That’s what they want you to think. That it’s a noun. In actuality, however, it’s a verb. An ominous motherfucking verb. As in: “Make an official record of the name and other personal details of (a criminal suspect or offender).”
Check it: People who use Facebook are voluntarily lining up like pigs to the slaughter to check themselves into jail. Fact: The original name proposed for Facebook was Lemmings-R-Us.
No wonder Facebook is in the news so often.
Now you must poke the jump if you ever hope to find your way to the like button for this post.
Continue reading →
The Nightmare Before, During and After
‘Twas a wrong time ago, longer now than my screams,
In a place where an asshole concocted his schemes;
For the story that you are about to be fed
Took place in the shithole where I was made dead.
Now you’ve probably wondered where happy hate comes from.
If you haven’t, I’d say it’s time I flung dung…
Yo. Halloween approacheth and that has got me in a festive mood. So I’ve begun work on a holiday movie of my own. I just wrote the poetry above for the intro scene. Grammar be damned. I’m going after a mood.
If none of this makes sense, no worries. None of it makes sense to me, either. I’m just doing the best I can.
Short Story: Brains #BlogShorts
Brains
by Tom B. Taker
The operation was over. I had successfully transplanted one-fourth of my own brain to my creation.
“We’ll have conversations worth having,” I told myself in more ways than one.
—
This post is part of the BlogShorts challenge. June 2011 – 30 stories – 30 words – 30 days.
Shouts from the Abyss 
Recent Comments