Handy Dandy Republican Primary Presidential Cheat Sheet Crib Notes Voting Guide
Deciding is hard. Now you don’t have to!
The social scientists of the Abyss have been hard at work putting together the following guide to help you make sense of this confusing Republic primary. Should you vote for Mitt? Newt? Who the hell knows?
Now you do. Simply follow this chart and everything will turn out fine.
Thinking is hard and overrated. So don’t try.
You’re welcome!
First! (Political Style)
On YouTube it is common for someone quick enough to be “first” to comment. Thus the “first” internet meme was born.
Proving once again that humans never grow beyond the mental age of kindergarden students, so-called “politicians” in New Hampshire and Iowa are engaged in a pissing match to determine who will vote first in the presidential primary.
Or, as I like to describe it, a contest to see which state’s voters will be marginalized the most.
Get to it, kids!
When asked for comment, the Terminator said, “Fuck you, asshole.”
Shouts from the Abyss 
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