Tag Archives: avatar

You Must Present

I like this image. No disrespect to Pankaj Ghemawat is intended.

I like this image. No disrespect to Pankaj Ghemawat or the Eight Percent is intended.

These days, if you decide to come after Twitter, you had best bring your A-game. You gotta have cred. Because, when the shit hits the fan, you have a grand total of .42 seconds to capture the attention of that potential follower or lose ’em forever.

You get one chance. One!!

Strike while the iron is hot. Seize the day. Squeeze lemonade out of their lemons. Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.

That’s where I come in. My latest business idea will give you insta-playa status. Make the jump for our special presentation or choose the path that leads to dying alone.

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Let’s Give Them Something To Tweet About

There. A little something for you to follow.

Note: Internet search tells me I’m only the 42 millionth person to think up the title used for this post. Maybe those 42 million other bozos can tweet about how unoriginal I am.

Ah, Twitter. Cruel mistress of pain and delight. An effective combination to be sure. Today I’m going to go random on the topic of Twitter. To honor the spirit of the subject matter, I’m going to try to limit my piths to 140 characters or less. (That’s a big plus for most of you right there!)

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Seeking investors: Ground floor opportunity (via Shouts from the Abyss)

I’m short on time, energy, ideas and skill today. That means it’s time for a reblog and a video, boys and girls!

First up, the video. I’d like to send this out as a long distance dedication. Also, the topic is somewhat fitting since I’m reblogging my own post. That has gots to be naughty.

I highly recommend this video for those of you who have good taste. It’s also a timeless classic from a masterful writer and director. I give it two hard drives up. Way the fuck up!

Next, I’ve got a new business idea percolating in my brain. I hope to share the idea with you all soon. Until then, I’m still looking for investors for the last idea. Amazingly there is still a chance to get in on that action before it’s too late. Read on before you make the biggest mistake of your life.

Don’t forget to check out my mad Photoshop skills on the logo, which I did myself! 🙂

Seeking investors: Ground floor opportunity As a self-styled “inventor” I like coming up with fresh new ideas. I’ve been thinking a lot about so-called “social media” lately and wondering, “Is there a way I can milk that cash cow, too?” What I need is a way to put my own twist of negativity on sites like Facebook and MySpace. That’s about … Read More

via Shouts from the Abyss

Tiny poll dancer

I have formed an exploratory committee to examine the possibility of changing my avatar.

Exploratory. Now that’s a butt-clenching word if ever there was one. If you know what I mean. But it is the word I have chosen and quite fitting for someone like me, I think.

Avatar. Another interesting word. As I learned from James Cameron, it loosely translates to “I see you” in English.

In other words, my avatar image is how you see me. It’s a pretty big deal.

Since I’m thinking about changing my avatar, I thought I’d break out the poll feature for the first time ever and find out what my reader thinks. The poll feature can handle only one vote, right?

This post also represents my contribution to the science of bracketology in honor of “March Madness” that will soon be upon us. Look, we’re already down to the final two. The winner goes on and the loser has to suck it.

Current avatar for yours truly

Proposed avatar for yours truly

Thank you so much for voting. That is one of the greatest privileges in our democracy and even here in the Abyss.

Seeking investors: Ground floor opportunity

It be subtle, but that switch is in the 'off' position - heh!

As a self-styled “inventor” I like coming up with fresh new ideas.

I’ve been thinking a lot about so-called “social media” lately and wondering, “Is there a way I can milk that cash cow, too?”

What I need is a way to put my own twist of negativity on sites like Facebook and MySpace.

That’s about when I had the idea for my next big thing. I’m calling it “anti-social media.” (Alas, a Google search reveals I’m not the first to dream up this particular phrase. It’s damn hard to be completely original these days.)

My very own spin, however, is to take that phrase and loosely apply it to the social networking phenomenon. My concept is a web site called NothingShare.com. I’ve already made the logo for the site, too.

The premise for the service is simple. Just like social sites, people will sign up and create their online personas. The rub is that they’ll never be seen. Ever.

I like the elegant simplicity of that. There will be no friends. All invitation requests will automatically be handled (and rejected) by the service. An “accept” button will not exist.

Backgrounds? Only one will be offered, in black, of course.

There will be at least one online game. Perhaps something like iQuicksand. “You’ve just sunk three more inches. Your request for rope has been answered by 0 friends.” Yeah, that sounds like good clean fun to me!

The primary function of the service will be something I’m calling “profile masturbation.” Visit the site, log in, and tweak your profile to your heart’s content. Upload your “avatar” image. Quippishly enter your favorite quotes. List all of your favorite TV shows, types of music, iTunes playlists, and books you’ve read recently. Come up with pithy and clever snippets that prove how fucking witty you are. If you’re having fun, that’s great! You’re the only one on the planet who will ever have the chance to enjoy it.

What is needed now is investment capital. If you love the concept as much as me, it’s time to open your hearts (along with your wallets) and get me da money. It’s scrilla time. Operators are standing by. (Unfortunately, just like friend invites, their phones can’t accept incoming calls.)

Start-Up Costs Estimate Sheet – Total Needed: $2,507,595

Domain name: $10
Design: $25
Web Hosting: $60
Licensing fees for Taco Bell’s “Black Taco” to be company mascot: $7,500
CEO Bonus: $2.5 million

In exchange for your generous donations I’m offering private stock certificates in equal amounts. I’m calling these “Nothing Shares.” And they are literally priceless, if you know what I mean.

I can’t wait to show you my NothingShare.com profile (or not). This is gonna be epic!

Avatar vs. Star Wars

I saw Avatar recently. (Expect another Why movie theaters should be destroyed post soon.)

Curious, I went to IMDB to see how it did. The rating when I looked was 8.7 out of 10. Not too shabby. In fact, that puts Avatar in position #32 on the all-time list.

Who ranks above that?

Pos. #10: Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
Pos. #12: Star Wars: A New Hope

Oh really???

This has got to be one of those “time, place and context” sort of things. Sorry, Star Wars. Avatar is the superior movie. Hands down and bar none. In fact, Star Wars comes across as hokey and sort of lame in comparison. Don’t get me wrong – I loved Star Wars. I once wore Star Wars tshirts every day for an entire year. (Sad but true.)

Even so, and I’ve thought about this, I have to say that Avatar is far more entertaining than Star Wars.

To those those Star Wars movies in positions #10 and #12 I can only say this: You do not belong here.