Twitterishly Trump
A wise person once said, “Y U no blog any more?”
I’m back, baby!
Ahem. So yeah. Truth be told, most of my creative energies, pith, and wit are squandered on the Twitter. But don’t worry. My blog is still here to catch the frothy flotsam that spilleth over.
And now, for your enjoyment, my microblog coverage (a trendy euphemism for “tweets”) of the 2016 Presidential Election.
These local-sourced tweets were hand-curated by yours truly. Please be responsible and upcycle when finished.
Cause of the Day #vote
At last, at last! It’s voting day at last! You see, I have a dream. It involves not having my intelligence insulted every single time I turn on the damn TV. I mean, more than usual.
For the United States it is voting day at last.
As early as tomorrow freedom will ring across the land as all the political ads will finally stop running. Yes, for once in my life, I’ll be happy to hear about side effects (up to and including death), how much money I won’t have in my retirement and garments specially designed for Americans and made in China so they can inhale whole containers of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream (where a pint is still 16 ounces) and finger the remote control – all at the same time!
This day brings a lot of craziness.
I’m not going to miss the ads. Let’s take a look at Measure WTF. Ostensibly this measure was brought to the ballot via the citizen initiative process. What does that mean? Most likely that paid canvassers collected the signatures. What’s that? I love the smell of democracy in the morning.
Look Who’s Running For Office
Pre-political hair.
It’s that time again. That time when we say, “What the? I didn’t know that guy could comb his hair!”
Yep. People are announcing their intentions to run for public office.
Here are a few notable newbies I’ve noticed so far.
Clay Aiken
The crooner from American Idol Season 2 lost in the finale by the slimmest of margins to some guy I no longer remember. Yes, he came in second, but he’s the one with staying power. So we’ll call that a wash.
Combed.
Aiken will be running against incumbent Republican Renee Ellmers in North Carolina’s 2nd District who already took a shot at his “runner up” history.
He’s so serious about this run that he sanitized his Twitter account, but websites are already publishing some of the tweets where he apparently had second thoughts. The internet is forever, Clay.
Quote:
I’m running for Congress for the same reason I chose to become a special education teacher years ago — to help people in need and to give them a voice.
–Clay Aiken
Victoria Jackson
You might remember her as an adorable cast member from Saturday Night Live. These days Victoria Jackson is a Tea Party conservative who is “very disappointed with the Republican party.” I looked at the list of “memorable characters” she played on SNL but I literally don’t remember any of them.
Jackson has filed to run for an independent position on a board of commissioners in Williamson County, Tennessee.
Quote:
I think I will fit in quite easily with (the current county commission). I went to the dentist recently and there was a Bible in the lobby of the dentist office. … I love this town [Thompson’s Station]. My two favorite things are here — Jesus and show business.
–Victoria Jackson
Wendy Davis
Technically not a newbie, Wendy Davis is a state-level politician who has announced that she’s running for the Governor of Texas. As a Democrat. In Texas.
She’s most famous for her 11-hour filibuster attempt in 2013 to block abortion legislation.
The incumbent, Rick Perry, has announced he won’t be seeking re-election. That will make this the first open election for governor in Texas since 1990.
Quote:
I was living as a young single mom. I was 19 when I was divorced, and my daughter was a year old, and I waited tables here three to four nights a week for several years while I was trying to support myself and my daughter and the day I got that acceptance at Harvard Law School was an unforgettable day.
–Wendy Davis
Sandra Fluke
Oops. Apparently Sandra Fluke filed the other day for the California congressional seat currently held by Rep. Henry Waxman. Today, however, it is being reported that she has changed her mind. False alarm.
Fluke, described as “an attorney and women’s rights activist” on Wikipedia, was refused the opportunity to testify to before a congressional committee about insurance plans and birth control. Later, talk show host Rush Limbaugh famously referred to her as a “slut.”
Quote:
Because we spoke so loudly, opponents of reproductive health access demonized and smeared me and others on the public airwaves. These smears are obvious attempts to distract from meaningful policy discussions and to silence women’s voices regarding their own health care.
–Sandra Fluke
Anyone else?
Who did I overlook? Are there any other people who have filed for office or potential candidates I may have missed? Which candidates do you find particularly interesting?
This Weak In God
God grilling up some Barack Obama voters with a haberno chutney sauce. Fresh, bold flavors to die for.
News of the godly keeps reaching these pious ears. I need to improve my shields. It’s not my fault, though. I can’t help it that they’re always up to something.
Yes, the culture war is on like Donkey Kong and going strong. Make no mistake about it. It is a real war. But what to do when the team with God on their side won’t even adhere to weak-ass standards that amount to a hill of beans, even when compared to the Geneva Convention? Remain resolute and stay strong. Remember: This too shall pass. There will come a day when differing beliefs are respected and we’ll all treat each other nicely. A day when we can all be united Americans. Until then, here’s some recent news.
Under U.S. law churches are prohibited against campaigning for political candidates. Those who hate unions might understand why. So what did Catholic bishops do in the run-up to election day? Campaign for Mitt Romney, of course. Although the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops might not have officially violated tax-laws some individual rogue bishops may have gone too far. Some observers and watchdog groups are saying actions by Catholic bishops during the election violated the church’s tax exempt status.
A law that says churches have to stay out of politics or risk losing their tax exempt status is a good idea. But who has one of the most powerful anti-abortion lobbies in the United States? You guessed it. The Catholic Church. And meanwhile, the Mormon church makes no bones about its desire to have a “seat” at the “policy making table.” It turns out that churches are just like everyone else: They want to shape the world into their own image.
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