Twitterishly Trump
A wise person once said, “Y U no blog any more?”
I’m back, baby!
Ahem. So yeah. Truth be told, most of my creative energies, pith, and wit are squandered on the Twitter. But don’t worry. My blog is still here to catch the frothy flotsam that spilleth over.
And now, for your enjoyment, my microblog coverage (a trendy euphemism for “tweets”) of the 2016 Presidential Election.
These local-sourced tweets were hand-curated by yours truly. Please be responsible and upcycle when finished.
Blockages: The Tony Vlachos Story #Survivor
There are two things I like. The reality TV show Survivor and the reality social show Twitter. These are a few of my favorite things.
Survivor is a delight as a little microcosm of humanity. An animated diorama world of greed and bad behavior inside the magic box. What’s not to like?
Twitter, with its 140-character limit, is a short and sweet. In the right hands it can be art form. In the wrong hands? “I’m on the can” or “I’m drinking a smoothie.” Often in the very same tweet.
I’ve been religiously watching Survivor since day one when Richard Hatch won the inaugural season in Borneo. I never miss an episode.
Earlier this year, when Survivor Cagayan, the 28th season, was announced, I did something new. I used Twitter to interact with some contestants on the show. The worlds of Survivor and Twitter collided like chocolate in my peanut butter.
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Sneaky Snarky Tweet
Boys and girls take warning, if you go near the tweet
Don’t follow too many, your timeline will overheat
Now maybe they won’t see you, maybe they won’t hark
When you sneak up behind them, while laughing at your snark
Today I give out my patented top secret technique for managing your Twitter account. Just the other day I gave away my patented Tort Reform Quiz for Dummies absolutely free. Now here I go again, giving away the store. For free!
My patents are flying out the door. I think I must be patently insane. It’s all part of my gift to you, the loyal reader.
Have you ever followed anyone on Twitter only to be irritated by how they keep on tweeting additional shit? So annoying! Like they actually believe someone gives a shit? I know!
Sure, you could unfollow them but that’s the coward’s way out. If only there was some other way?
Now there is! Read on to learn my secret technique. Shhhhhh! This is only between you and me. Don’t tell anyone.
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The Evolution of Tweet
Evolving a tweet.
I thought it might be an interesting diversion to show you the creative process. The author stuff that goes on behind the curtain. This is also known as “I got nothing.”
For today we’ll consider the creation of a tweet, an art form limited to 140 characters or less.
The process begins with the humble germination of an idea. There’s nothing quite like that flash of inspiration that goes off like the proverbial lightbulb over one’s head. It may even be prompted by physical stimuli, such as something cold and squishy between one’s toes. Whatever it takes because the tweet is the thing!
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A Very Penis Christmas
Advisory: This post contains the werd “penis.” We suggest you keep this out of your inbox.
‘Twas the night before Christmas
And I know it sounds corny
But famous white celebrities
And Tiger! – were feeling quite horny
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Tombstone Authoring: A Twitter Experience
Ever wander through a cemetery and wonder about the stories behind those cryptic names and dates? Well wonder no longer. Google, in it’s quest to answer every question of all time, has just announced Google Graveyard. Finally, all of those questions answered.
Some tombstones go old school with name, dates, and that’s it. Some add a few words, like “Beloved Mother.”
Me? I figure what the hell? There’s enough room on my tombstones for 140 characters so why not tweet on it. I plan to make use of that space. Dying will be my final creative act! My pièce de résistance! It’ll even be my raison d’être. Well, maybe not exactly. But you know what I mean.
Towards that end (heh) I set aside a few moments of quality time with my cappuccino and jotted down a few ideas. I’d very much appreciate a tender moment of sharing with you. I’m an author. Please enjoy these selected works from my Twitter stream.
Bonsoir mon ami!
2012-10-05 Tombstone Authoring: ‘The allegations are untrue.’ Signed, Tom B. Taker’s attorney.
Make the great jump if you’d like to read a few more…
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Shouts from the Abyss 
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