No Hapologies
This way to the helipad!
I like Hillary. I’ve been her supporter for a few presidential cycles. On her mailing list I think you’ll find me in the “Old School” section. I got seniority. And, depending how things go, she probably has my vote in 2016. The “probably” is a subtle hint that my vote is not ironclad. Not this time around.
Some people give Hillary a lot of shit. Some I agree with (to some extent). Some is just stupid, crass, and mean-spirited and falls under the category of “My Side Good, Your Side Bad” politics.
Me? I prefer to call ’em like I see ’em. And this is one such case.
Hi I’m Tom B. Taker
Source: Photo Monkey (Flickr)
I’m a guru of negativity. I love avoiding people, spending time with my cats, volunteering for one-way missions to Mars and eating tamed jalapeños.
I’m Tom B. Taker and I’m an Atheist.
About Me
When I was young, growing up was hard. On all of us. But especially me. Every day I’d wake up one day older and closer to death. It was during those years that I originally learned that negative thoughts could ensconce and protect me like a warm blanket of pee.
At an early age I was told I would never amount to anything. I adopted that as a core value and proved the naysayers right. I listened to voices in my head, lived my life accordingly, and earned a lot of “participant” ribbons along the way.
Since then, I have learned the most humans are truly despicable creatures. Since the age of 16 I have pursued my dream of being oppressed and discovering everything that is shitty about the workplace and bosses. When it comes to experiencing the underbelly of capitalism and arcane power-based relationships in the quest for the acquisition of wealth I am proud to say of my career, “Mission Accomplished!”
Why I am an Atheist
I realized pretty early on what a force religion could be and when I saw how that force worked, I realized I wanted no part of it. After a time in my life where I’d believe almost anything and fell for several different religions in quick succession, I sobered up and realized that none of that stuff ever felt right to me. I simply didn’t believe. Over time I learned that this sort of belief was known as atheism and I took to it like a tormented parent forced to kill a demon-possessed child. The more I paid attention to the world around me and how it worked the stronger my faith became.
Also, that whole “I’m a Mormon” campaign thing. That pretty much pushed me over the edge. Like the media blitz they are currently conducting in London tube stations and buses. Wondering in awe at one of the most secretive organizations in the world spending so much wealth on advertising helped answer a lot of my questions.
How I live my faith
Unlike my faithful friends across the aisle, I try to treat each person I meet with dignity and respect. One way I do this is by not shoving my beliefs down their throat. Like an idiot, I also strive to live by the golden rule, even to the folks who always seem so busy yet always willing to take the time to tell me how, one day, I’ll be rotting in Hell. I foolishly believe that this world should be as good and fair as possible for all people, and not just a privileged few.
Rather than believe everything I hear, I embrace the principles of logic and science, and attempt to be a critical thinker when analyzing the world around me. My goal is to see the world and all of reality as it is, unfiltered by dogma, programming, parental garbage, and cultural idiosyncrasies, and so-called ancient wisdoms passed down from generation to generation.
Tom B. Taker lives in an abandoned lighthouse in Oklahoma with his two cats and enjoys eating Mexican food.
The Prostitutional Promise of Presidential Promises
Did you know that some people think it’s naive to expect a presidential candidate to keep his/her word? I promise you, this is true! I’ve been called it right to my face. By no small coincidence the person doing the speaking was one of the most monumental douchebags I’ve ever met. And no, he wasn’t even my boss. He wasn’t quite that bad.
As we gather our collective will, about to commit ourselves to the task of voting, I’m here to ask: What is a presidential promise? Why are they made? Do they even matter? Should we even care? And what, if anything, should happen when they are broken?
Consider this: If it is naive to expect a presidential candidate to keep his/her promises, then what’s the bloody point of it all? If that’s the case, what selection criteria should go into your vote? Why not just vote for the candidate you “like” the most then, when he/she’s all legit, expect him/her to do whatever the hell he/she wants?
Take Romney, for instance. Part of his platform is officially “get me in there and then I’ll fill you in on the rest of the details later.” Some might call that refreshing. Some might call it straight up. At least he’s not trying to fool the naive folk, right?
On the other hand, he does make his share of promises, too. The biggest one I can think of is: “I’ll create 12 million new jobs.” Now that’s a promise. Never mind that a bunch of economists predict that the U.S. will create those jobs either way, over the next four years, regardless of which of the two choices we select in 2012.
Hey, I’ve got a promise for you, too. The sun will come up tomorrow. I promise. If it actually happens, does that mean I’m brilliant? That I had anything to do with it? And what if it doesn’t? What happens then? Well, we’ll all be dead and there will be no one around to give a shit.
It’s a classic win-win.
Some Eistein smartypants will no doubt say, “Whatever. A president doesn’t have ultimate power. He’s not a dictator. Not unless we’re talking about Obama, of course. A president can’t just do anything he wants. He needs help from Congress and stuff. He can’t go it alone.”
True. And precisely because of that fact, I’ll tell you how, in my opinion, promises should matter.
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Got Nothing? “The Other Guy Sucks”
Old man chauffeured in harsh sunlight.
Hey, Mitt Romney. Whatcha doin’?
“Coasting to the White House.”
Is that anything like sailing the waters off the coast of Somalia? Watch out for pirates.
I guess there are a couple of ways you can go about getting to the White House. One is to have better ideas than your opponent. To challenge your opponent in the marketplace of ideas with a superior product.
Another might be a buoyant leadership and spirit of charisma.
There’s yet another way, though. The Romney way. The Wall Street Journal called it “coasting.” I’ve previously referred to it as Backin’ Up. Recently conservative pundit Bill Kristol lamented that the Romney campaign won’t come out with specifics about economic growth, deficit reform, health care reform, tax reform and replacing Dodd-Frank. He accused the Romney campaign of believing, “No need for any of that.”
A headline on the Huffington Post claims, “Mitt Romney Taking Heat From Prominent Republicans Over Play-It-Safe Approach.”
An article on Time.com noted that Romney, in pursuit of the presidency, is being “vague.”
Methinks I’m noticing a trend.
The One Word Writing Challenge – Presidential Edition
It’s time for a writing challenge.
Wow. I can’t believe I’m even going to joke about that. Some crazy person might decide to get back on the net and issue some damn drabble or thirty-word story challenge and then where would I be?
Ah, what the hell. I’m willing to risk it.
I’ve had an email discussion with a friend from across the aisle for weeks about Obama and Romney. Specifically the discussion revolved around one-word descriptions for each of the presidential wannabes. Just a single word. If you sincerely try, finding one and only one word to encapsulate most anything is pretty damn hard to do.
Then along comes with with the “#DefineObamaInOneWord” hashtag thingy. Once again Twitter is aping my awesome creativity and stealing my idea. Sorry, Twitter. This was my idea from weeks ago and I’ve got the emails to prove it.
The one-word writing contest:
Define Obama, Romney or both, using only one-word each. Reply to this post with your entries.
By the way, if you enter multiple times, you weaken the “one-word-ness” of your entry. Think about it.
True pith is hard. If it was easy everyone would do it. So this is your big chance to pith on my blog. You’re not going to pass that up, are you?
Mitt Romney – Slave Driver
The Romney quarter-zip sweatshirt. I’m holding out for the FULL zip but only if it covers his whole face.
This is part two in our exclusive and ongoing series of Mitt Romney investigative reports. You can read our exclusive exposé of Mitt Romney’s hidden age here.
Clear your head of all the distractions of this presidential campaign. The Bain Capital years. Reverend Wright. The Super PACs. Dog Gate. Birth certificates. The price of gas. Heck, even try to forget about Donald Trump’s hair – The Coiffure from Another Entrepreneur.
This election is about the economy. It’s about jobs. Therefore, it is fair to ask, “What would Romney do?”
Thanks to the investigative efforts of the Abyss News Team, we will deliver the answer to that question tonight at 11 on Action Central News. If you “believe in America” you’ll catch our team coverage tonight. What you don’t know could kill you. Stay tuned.
Fair notice: Some mathematics will be required.
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