It’s not every day when the universe provides something like this. So I thought I would share.
“Unicorn” is the codename I’ve given to one of the technical people who came on board after I quit. She’s been working on my stuff.
To: Tom B. Taker
CC: Former Boss
From: Unicorn
Subject: KudosHi Tom,
I just wanted to take a moment to give you some positive feedback on the scripts you created to manage vendor/product information.
Your extensive, clean documentation, stable code, and useful logging / script echos has made this transition run much more smoothly than I have experienced in other small businesses. Well done.
Warm Regards,
Unicorn
Note the date and time in the ship’s log. I’m speechless. I have nothing negative to add.
Shouts from the Abyss 
But will the boss ever come out and say you were the “perl” in his business “oyster?” I think not.
I write this only because I couldn’t let the day go by without sending a little negativity your way.
You’re welcome.
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LOL! Perl. I loves me some Perl. I’m surprised you even know what that is. Wow.
You found the perfect way to re-introduce negativity. You are indeed a true friend.
Two weeks ago I received this email from the former boss. As you can see he’s just as awkward in print as he is in person:
Why the fuck would you give an email like this a subject of “Status Report?” Once a boss always a boss.
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*snort* You know how to pick ’em.
I’d advise him any future correspondence and requests for advice will come with an invoice payable immediately. You’ll never hear from him again.
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On the other hand, you may get to hear about Unicorn getting slowly sucked into the morass and being destroyed by it.
That would reinforce your world-view…
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I like the kid. I’d hate to see anything bad happen to her. Like working for my old boss. Oh shit. Too late.
Literally everything I see reinforces my worldview. Right now I’m looking at a mirror.
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You may be ready to be beamed up.
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I already volunteered for the one-way mission to Mars. What more can I do?
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Europa is the real suicide mission.
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Wait. Where’s the bitter, angry part where someone’s an asshole?
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See next post.
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