As married people, my wife and I haven’t had all the conversations yet. But we’re getting close.

“Hey. I got a question.”

“Okay. Shoot.”

“Do you pick your nose?”

The pause wasn’t quite as long as you’d think. “Yeah. I do.”

Beat. Then, of course, the inevitable.

“Do you?”

“Fuck off! I ain’t answering that.”

Never underestimate the power of a fully-formed glare. “Yeah, okay. I do, too.”

The rest of that conversation, pertaining to the eating of said nose pickings, will not be published in this space. That’s premium content. We accept all major credit cards. But not PayPal!!!

Then, this other time, I turned to my wife and asked, “How many times, in your entire life, have you ever sued anyone?”
Continue reading →