She Who Boots my Floppy

I love my computer
you make me feel alright
every waking hour
and every lonely night
I love my computer
for all you give to me
predictable errors and no identity
and it’s never been quite so easy
I’ve never been quite so happy
all I need to do is click on you
and we’ll be joined
in the most soul-less way
and we’ll never
ever ruin each other’s day
cuz when I’m through I just click
and you just go away
I love my computer
you’re always in the mood
I get so turned on
when I turn on you
I love my computer
you never ask for more
you can be a princess
or you can be my whore
and it’s never been quite so easy
I’ve never been quite so happy
the world outside is so big
but it’s safe in my domain
because to you
I’m just a number
and a clever screen name
all I need to do is click on you
and we’ll be together for eternity
and no one is ever gonna take my love
from me because I’ve got security,
her password and a key

6 responses

  1. Deborah the Closet Monster | Reply

    predictable errors and no identity
    I didn’t like math enough to pursue its study diligently, but I’ve always appreciated math for this very reason. Unlike people, you can predict the results of putting different numbers and variables in certain configurations. I love people, but sometimes that predictability is exactly what I crave.

    Like

    1. That used to be true of computers. Whatever the input the output was predictable. However, we’ve now reached the point where computers are so screwed up that they have been unpredictable. Pushing the same button 20 times may actually produce a different result on that final push. Thus, humans are being slowly trained to distrust technology. This sort of thing is a subtle way of preparing us for an existence of nothing but vending machines.

      Like

  2. It’s scary how good this is. I can feel the love. Maybe too much love…I can almost feel that long dribble of drool hanging from your bottom lip as you salivated over writing this piece.

    You get both an “ewww” and a “whoopee” from me. 😉

    Like

    1. Oops. Did you see the error in the subject line? I just did. I accidentally called my computer a “she.”

      Now how in the hell did that happen?

      Like

  3. THIS IS AWESOME. Oh, dear. Why do we all love our computers so much?

    Like

    1. For me, the main reason, I think is that they aren’t people. That’s a big plus. 🙂

      Like

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