Tell Me Where To Go

pj-be897_workfa_ns_20120123182041One thing I’ve learned about major life stressors is I’m normally not even aware they exist. But it’s comforting to know that sooner or late your body will get around to being informative about it.

“Hey up there, brain!” the body likes to say. “You fucking idiot. Check it out. Shit is happening all over this place. Wake up!”

Well played, body. Well played. Subtle as always.

What are major life stressors? I think they fall into two major categories.

  1. Things You Do Not Want
  2. Things You Asked For

I’m not sure which category is worse.

This week I changed jobs. (More details on that coming soon.) My wife has also put in her notice to resign her position. We’re moving out of our house of four years and leaving the small town for the big city. As of Sunday I got rid of my car. Christmas exists.

These are all stressors. I know because I looked them up.

I found a website that scores these factors and more. Using their handy chart I learned that I’m subdural hematoma on the stress scale. I don’t know what that means but it sure sounds good. Woot!

Another potential source of stress is getting out, doing things, and meeting new and interesting people. Yikes! I think I just subduraled a bit.

Normally you’d meet new people at work and church, and through normal powers of osmosis, suddenly one or two of them would be your “friends.”

Well, I’m going to be working at home and I don’t have a church. (I’ll check for Flying Spaghetti Monster enclaves, though, just in case.)

Now what?

That’s whereΒ you come in. I need you to tell me where to go! And, just to increase the difficulty, I’m going to pull the two most obvious choices off the table before we begin.

  • Hell
  • Gay bathhouses

That’s it. I had to ramp up the difficulty somehow. Anything else goes. Where are you going to send me to meet people and make friends?

I’ll be ignoring the best suggestions you can come up with, so be creative. This is your big chance.

13 responses

  1. Try they have all sorts of groups where members are interested in whatever it is and meet for events in relation to it – music, movies, food, etc. There might even be a demotivational meetup!


    1. Whoa! That actually sounds useful. You totally didn’t get the point of this exercise, did you? πŸ™‚

      And yes, I am a member, and I have used it in the past and plan to do so again when we get there.


  2. My husband and I have done a very similar set of life changes in a very short period of time as well. More than once. And yes, it’s stressful as fuck (even if your body doesn’t register it at the time). kinda sucks, we tried that too. Making new friends is hard. People seem to be ok with sticking around the same crew they’ve known since high school, or their work colleagues, or whatever, and that’s super lame. I don’t have any useful suggestions, just lamenting and validating. πŸ™‚


    1. Oh Gawd…this is just what he’ll be hoping to hear. If I could figure out his password, I’d erase your lamenting and validating!


      1. Thanks for the reminder, honey. Picking on the very occasional commenter around here is really adding to my stress! πŸ™‚


    2. Awesome stuff! I’m actually not worried at all but I never pass up an opportunity to bitch. Life is too short! πŸ™‚

      I might just pick out a church and hang out, although the people there do tend to be a bit religious. It’s a quandary.

      I’ve had reasonable success with Meetup, like when attending the local Freethinkers group. There are some really neat people there. And yes, one blowhard who, although like-minded, drove me away. It only takes one.


      1. No worries is the way to live. We tried both those routes – the church one before we completely left that life behind, and the Freethinkers meetup group in our local area right after that. The church we went to was wayyyy too overbearing (like, they showed up at our house uninvited to give us a can of crackerjack. It was weird…thinking back, maybe we should have tried to be friends?). The Freethinkers group was the opposite – a bunch of non-social people (at a meetup group – wtf?) can I get some balance here? πŸ™‚ For real though, listen to your wife. I was going to add more, but I think I’ll just end with that statement. (happy wife = happy life, right?)


      2. I appreciate your input. πŸ™‚ And I love your blog, too. I’m a subscriber now!

        I’m not really stressed about the move. (Keep that just between us. The wife doesn’t need to know.) I’m just acknowledging that stressors are at work here. They have no power over me! πŸ™‚


  3. How about an adult kickball league?

    By adult, I mean with people who are adults, but are not necessarily naked. Why is adult now a euphemism for naked now?


    1. Officer thinking! Those are all about beer, right? I volunteer to be the designated kicker, as long as I don’t have to run (or even walk fast) after kicking the thing. Hey! How about another beer over here? A naked beer.


  4. Change jobs? Check. Move? Check. So as I recall, the only major stressors left are NEW BABY and DEATH IN THE FAMILY. I’ll let Mrs. Abyss decide.


    1. She’s already been talking about one of those two for a week now. And she’s always the Decider.


  5. Yeah! I took up knitting this winter. Knitted a hat and a scarf and I’m now ready for baby booties. Let me know…pink, blue or yellow. This one you can decide.

    Unless it’s that other thing and then…I’ll let you pick the wording for the tombstone.


Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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