The Year In Re-Doo-Doo

I ain’t got the time or the inclination to make another year in review video. Maybe next year. Until then I’m recycling this garbage from two years ago. Use your God-given powers of imagination and relive 2014 Shouts From The Abyss classic moments like these:

• I invented, shared, and ate Insectisauce
• I became the Puke Of Hurl when I literally lost my lunch
• I learned about microwavable plates (not) in a fun-filled romp entitled Delta, Science and The Bible
• I wrote one of my most successful posts of the year (just three weeks ago) where I recounted receiving a miraculous piece of mail in the festive post: A Tom B. Taker Christmas
• I acquired a canoe
• I ate once at Chipotle and promptly added it to my boycott list
• A new and improved Guru Comic made its cinematic debut
• The best post of the year (based on view count) actually written by me was Bridges and Icebergs (about the Chris Christie scandal) in January
• And, last but not least, my top post of 2014 was a reblog so I didn’t even write it (success)

Hmm. More than my share of posts about biffing my lunch. Hot water burn baby! Apparently it’s about to be my time to start smearing poop on walls, but only when I’m away from her.

Roll the crap! And remember to use your imagination!

Sorry it’s so boring. I had to remove the damn song to make it play. It was much funnier when it was accompanied by “Angel” by Sarah McLachlan. Use your double imagination. Or sync it yourself. Or drop some acid and play the song backwards. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

I’m never making one of these videos again until I record my own music. Oh, that’s right. I already did. I’m talented.