Tag Archives: yeats

Expert Failure

An innocent passerby victimized by "expert failure."

An innocent passerby victimized by “expert failure.”

What do you call it when the people who are supposed to save the day, the so-called “experts,” fail to perform when the chips are down? There has got to be a terminology for that. For now, I’m going to go with the phrase “expert failure” or EF.

Example: “Yup. Things certainly went to shit. They EF’d up.”

In the excellent book Jurassic Park the character Ian Malcolm, a mathematician specializing in “chaos theory,” correctly predicts the failed hubris of the undertaking. (Also in the book the character John Hammond, the visionary, is ironically eaten by his creations. That tasty tidbit didn’t make it into the movie.) The genius of Michael Crichton’s book has nothing to do with dinosaurs. As Wikipedia puts it, the story is a “metaphor of collapse.”

Expert failure works like this:

  • Only we are brilliant enough to design and breed dinosaurs. You are not brilliant by a long shot. Oops. The dinosaurs got out. Bad shit happens. Our bad.
  • A virus enters the country. The hospitals and specialists we depend on for our very lives fail to follow basic protocols. (In unrelated news, studies have shown that 10 to 80 percent of ICU doctors fail to engage in sanitary hand washing as directed. Because, of course, they know better.)
  • A politician says, “Doing ABC will lead to XYZ.” When that doesn’t happen, he adds, “Obviously we need a lot more of ABC. We have to give my policies a chance to work.”
  • Your financial consultant advises you to invest heavily in Guru Of Negativity (ticker: GON) holdings and you lose your shirt.
  • A baseball teams spends $50 million on a single player (cutting other players from the team to make this possible). Later, in game seven of the World Series, bottom of ninth, two outs, full count, bases loaded, trailing by one run the fellow whiffs flailingly at three straight pitches in the dirt and strikes out.

That last example is my personal favorite because I could have easily matched that performance for at least half price. Show me the money!

What else have experts gotten wrong? FEMA? Vietnam? The financial crisis? Mortgage-backed securities? Bridges? Stampedes at religious gatherings? Platforms at state fairs? Fires in disco clubs? Interfering in the civil wars of other countries?

The list is long and distinguished.

So now we look to experts to clean up the messes that were created by the same and/or previous experts. I’m no expert but I say that sucks. When you’re stuck on your the tippy-top of your roof and the water is lapping at your toes, just remember this: There is no expert correction fairy who will swoop in and save your bacon.

Ultimately, no matter what the experts would like you to believe, you’re on your own.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to change into my baseball uniform. You can depend on me.

Things fall apart. The center does not hold. –Yeats

 

Yesterdays and Yesteryears

Upon reading this post, you might be moved to ask, “Oh God, yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?”

Yes, this is the “Y” post. That means plenty of things like Yeats and YouTube. The latter which, of course, is responsible for one of man’s greatest achievements: The ability to combine sound and video slightly off-track from one another.

Being slightly off-track is a hobby of mine, too. I enjoy taking beautiful things and juxtaposing them jarringly with crudity. It’s what I do.


Why can’t the past just die?
–Christine Daae in Phantom of the Opera


Yesterday,
All my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks at though they’re here to stay,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
–The Beatles


Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold.
–William Butler Yeats


I was a young boy that had big plans.
Now I’m just another shitty old man.
I don’t have fun and I hate everything.
The world owes me, so fuck you.

Glory days don’t mean shit to me.
I drank a six pack of apathy.
Life’s a bitch and so am I.
The world owes me, so fuck you.

Wasted youth and a fistful of ideals.
I had a young and optimistic point of view.
Wasted youth and a fistful of ideals.
I had a young and optimistic point of view.

I’ve decomposed, yet my gut’s getting fat.
Oh my god I’m turning out like my dad.
I’m always rude I’ve got a bad attitude.
The world owes me, so fuck you.

The wife’s a nag and the kid’s fucking up.
I don’t have sex `cause i can’t get it up.
I’m just a grouch sitting on the couch.
The world owes me, so fuck you.

Wasted youth and a fistful of ideals.
I had a young and optimistic point of view.
Wasted youth and a fistful of ideals.
I had a young and optimistic point of view.

I was a young boy that had big plans.
Now I’m just another shitty old man.
I don’t have fun and I hate everything.
The world owes me, so fuck you.

Glory days don’t mean shit to me.
I drank a six pack of apathy.
Life’s a bitch and so am I.
The world owes me, so fuck you.
The world owes me, so fuck you.
The world owes me, so fuck you.
–Green Day, The Grouch


In closing I present the only known song by Styx to start with the letter “Y.” This is classic Styx circa 1973.

This is my “Y” post in the A-Z Blogger Challenge.