I believe that The Bible is incomplete. Each and every book should have ended with the sentence: “Well played, God. Welllll played.”

I speak from experience since I believe the point of my life has been to add a new chapter. Hint: It’ll be called The Book of Tom and it’ll be inserted right after Job. Howdy, neighbor!

Take today, for example. Seriously. Please take it.

Yesterday I had yakisoba noodles with chicken for lunch. I ate less than I wanted because I was saving it. For today.

I now read from the Book of Tom:

Tom’s Law #42
Look forward to something and you’ll get exactly what you deserve.

I was really looking forward to lunch today. I think we all know this isn’t going to turn out well. Let us prey.

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