Regurgitated: Beast in Show
Once upon a time I participated in a thirty-day challenge where you had to write 30 stories containing exactly 30 words each. It was a 30-30-30 kind of a thing.
30 (thirty) is the natural number following 29 and preceding 31.
–Source: Wikipedia – 30 (number)
If you find that factoid interesting and fascinating (thanks Wikipedia!) then you’re going to love Brawndo – The Thirst Mutilator. It’s especially effective for people who never learned how to count. (Be sure to thank the person reading you this post.)
This piece of regurgitated gristle is brought to you by Brawndo, a proud sponsor of the American scream. Brawndo: It’s got what plants crave!
Above this line you’ll find exactly three times as many words as the original post, which you can read for yourself if you click the following link. If you can’t follow that simple instruction, move the little mousy and make it a go-go.
Killing Time
Just how far am I willing to go for you, the intrepid reader? Oh how you’ve been made to suffer. I decided to do you a solid. Hey, it’s my way of saying thanks for being here. But how? Where and when?
The opportunity at time travel recently fell into my lap. The dictates of the space-time continuum prohibit me from saying how exactly, but I can say this much: It was a one-time opportunity and I take some time to think about how to use it wisely.
I proceeded with caution. After all, I wouldn’t want to be responsible for the utter destruction of the entire universe. At least that’s what I thought at the time. On second thought, it would get a bunch of assholes permanently out of my hair. Hmmm.
No! Don’t even think it! Stick to the objective. This is about my reader, not personal satisfaction. This is no time to be more narcissistic than usual.
Formulating a plan, I knew the limits of the trip. It would be a quick jump a mere 24 hours into the future. I’d literally be a man before my time. And I resolved to make the most of it.
There had to be a way to give my reader a little payback. I resolved to find a way how. If only I had more time…
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Switcheroo
Friday morning, after my behavior, attitude and outlook had put my wife in a really bad mood, and before she left for work, something happened.
I said, “You know. It really sucks when you’re so angry and you’re about to step out the door and go directly to work. That’s the absolute worst, isn’t it?”
If looks could kill. That look made my blood run so cold it’s still not back up to room temperature yet.
Then she threw down the gauntlet.
She said, “I’m sick of your bullshit, Tom. Everyone hates their jobs. No one wants to live through that, then go read a blog about someone else hating their job, too. It might be mildly funny for a post or two, but then it just gets sad and really sucks. I have to hear you talk about it when it happens. Then you talk about it when you’re writing about it. Then I have to read about it. Then you quiz me to see if I’ve read it. Then you talk about it for a few more days.”
“This can’t continue,” she added.
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2011 in Abyssiness
Work sucks. According to my wife, though, writing about work sucks more. (Stay tuned for my next post.)
So I decided to do a little science experiment. Feel free to play along and try this at home with your own blog.
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Day Thirteen #BlogFestivus – The Thirteenth Day of Christmas
This story is part of BlogFestivus: 12 short stories, 12 days, 12 Days of Christmas. An I.Q. of 12 is also extremely helpful but not required. Oh, the stories have to be exactly 144 words in length, too. You know, that’s 12 times 12. (Use a calculator if you need proof.) The real bitch of this challenge is that you have to incorporate the words from the famous “12 Days of Christmas” song, too. Sick stuff, really. You can find more of these unique stories by clicking this link for a complete list of festive BlogFestivus participants.
The Thirteenth Day of Christmas
by Tom B. Taker
It was Friday.
The others had since gone away, but something compelled him to press on. He entered the decrepit and disused skyscraper and crossed the deserted lobby.
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Day Twelve #BlogFestivus – Hitting the Sweet Spot
This story is part of BlogFestivus: 12 short stories, 12 days, 12 Days of Christmas. An I.Q. of 12 is also extremely helpful but not required. Oh, the stories have to be exactly 144 words in length, too. You know, that’s 12 times 12. (Use a calculator if you need proof.) The real bitch of this challenge is that you have to incorporate the words from the famous “12 Days of Christmas” song, too. Sick stuff, really. You can find more of these unique stories by clicking this link for a complete list of festive BlogFestivus participants.
Hitting the Sweet Spot
by Tom B. Taker
It wasn’t my fault. I wasn’t the one who precariously balanced the 55-gallon drum at the top of a steep ramp, and in the middle of the workplace, too. But I didn’t do anything about it, either. I was complicit through inaction.
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Day Eleven #BlogFestivus – A Piece of Cake
This story is part of BlogFestivus: 12 short stories, 12 days, 12 Days of Christmas. An I.Q. of 12 is also extremely helpful but not required. Oh, the stories have to be exactly 144 words in length, too. You know, that’s 12 times 12. (Use a calculator if you need proof.) The real bitch of this challenge is that you have to incorporate the words from the famous “12 Days of Christmas” song, too. Sick stuff, really. You can find more of these unique stories by clicking this link for a complete list of festive BlogFestivus participants.
A Piece of Cake
by Tom B. Taker
Doug “The Wrench” Stromboli had always been an exceptional plumber. As a third generation Stromboli he had naturally taken up the family business, but his secret inner passions had always been elsewhere. No one had ever discovered his prized secret possession: An Easy-Bake oven.
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Shouts from the Abyss 
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