Brevity is: Puzzled
999 puzzle pieces on the wall
999 puzzle pieces
Take one down
Pass it around
We’re doomed
I don’t do puzzles. But Friday was “National Puzzle Day” and the wife insisted.
From out of nowhere she produced a 1,000-piece puzzle. It was a photograph of candy wrappers. It was used. I moaned, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
Brevity is: Bundylands
Introducing a new series entitled simply: “Brevity is.” I’m tackling subjects and keeping things as short as my temper. -Ed.
Cattle rancher Cliven Bundy has a bone to pick with the federal government. What’s his point?
Paraphrased in my own words it’s something like this:
It’s always been this way. Therefore it can’t be changed.
Refresher: Law is an arbitrary human construct. Everything is subject to change. Even the U.S. Constitution includes a procedure for updating itself.
My Top Tweets of 2013
I found an aggregator that compiled my “best” tweets of 2013 as calculated based on quantity of interactions. Quantity, not quality. Yes, these are the crème de la crème, the coup de disgrâce if you will. If you boiled my tweets from 2013 this batch represents the skim, that thin layer on top that would have normally been scooped out.
It’s somewhat interesting that all of my top tweets top place in October, November and December. That’s obviously because I was pacing myself. Yeah, right. I’ve been doing twitter for about 3.96 years and only last October did anyone notice. That’s just perfect.
Here there are, the top 10 least sucky tweets as determined by a computer.
- Dec 8 – Why do you hate me? And use your big words this time.
- Nov 14 – I know, for security reasons, I shouldn’t reveal my destination ahead of time, but what the hell! I’m going to the movies.
- Oct 30 – Yeah, because if there is one thing the Walton heirs truly understand, it is personal achievement. @LibertyBelleJ
- Nov 26 – Birth control on your health plan doesn’t violate your religious views unless you use it.
- Oct 23 – We need to find some way to take the focus on winning out of politics. Win culture is ultimately destructive. @LibertyBelleJ
- Nov 24 – Tell your friends about me. That’s how this social media shit works, asshole.
- Nov 28 – Let us also ban coverage for circumcisions and injuries resulting from beatings, fasting and faith-based healing. @LibertyBelleJ #parenting
- Dec 19 – Too many websites are crashing and freezing @googlechrome for interminable periods of time. Going back to @firefox as my primary browser.
- Dec 19 – Perhaps there’s a benefit to making gun ownership for criminals as difficult as possible. @NeoConAtheist @Paula68154 @shemararae @Birdseye1
- Dec 11 – School officials are “taking a lot of heat” for canceling classes due to cold weather. That is so punny! #journalism
Too Many Words
Like Mozart with his “too many notes” I have been shamed by the assertion that my heretofore writings contain, and I quote, “Too many words.”
The charge, bitterly leveled by my otherwise serviceable spouse, had placed me in the uncomfortable position of scheming the proper retort.
Thus quote the author, “.”
Abyss Christmas Buying Guide 2012: Hell To Pay
Is there a crazy character on your Christmas list with that far, far away look in their eye who’s a few life lessons short of guru attainment? I, your humble guru, did, and so can you. And so can they.
I owe it all to the compendium of tome that forever changed my life. It’s a book that irrevocably set galactic-sized wheels in motion, albeit a long, long time ago.
“You can waste time with your friends when your chores are done.”
–Owen Lars, Moisture Farmer
I’m talking about, of course, Hell To Pay, a hearty collection of witticisms and musings about the great mysteries of life by our galaxy’s most famous moisture farmer, Owen Laws. You may know him better as the uncle to the master of midichlorians himself, Luke Skywalker.
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