Don’t Look Now (It Ain’t Mitt Romney)
Who will pay his fair share of tax?
Who will shoot straight with all the facts?
Who’ll watch out for even you and me?
Don’t look now, it ain’t Mitt Romney.
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Humble Lie Pie: How The Presidency Was Won
For today’s science experiment I wanted data to support a hypothesis: Mitt Romney isn’t a very honest person.
Methodology: I did an existing data study to produce the pie chart graph shown on the right. The data set consisted of the last 20 “Truth-O-Meter” responses to statements by Mitt Romney as evaluated by PolitiFact.com.
I did not “cherry pick” the source data. I merely used the 20 most recent statements by Mitt Romney at the moment I happened to look. I then counted each type of rating and produced the chart.
Additional analysis and source data is provided after the jump.
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Oh Willard! Where Art Thou?
Age of presidents when assuming office approximately follows a bell curve (mean age marked by red line). Source: Wikipedia
Psst. Don’t tell anyone, but I know a little something the Mitt Romney campaign doesn’t want a lot of people to know. And, unlike them, I have no scruples about sharing it.
The cat is old.
I don’t mean “old” in the sense that it’s time for the rockin’ chair. I mean “old” in presidential terms.
Willard Mitt Romney was born March 12, 1947. He’s 65 years old.
Look at the clues. Fact #1: His name is Willard. Normally at this point I’d say, “I rest my case.” But I want to blather on for a bit more.
Exclusive: Abyss scientists have calculated that the first name “Willard” ranked 124.8 in popularity in the United States during the years 1880 through 1946. Mitt’s parents, by selecting the name Willard, simply went along with a trend of the times.
Since Mitt was born, however, the name has taken a beating. The first name “Willard” has dropped in popularity to a whopping rank of 491.2. (Based on years 1947 through 1989, the last year for which data is available.)
No wonder he goes by the name Mitt. He single-handedly made the name uncool. (See below for the graph I made. The higher the bar, the less popular the ranking of the name.)
Keep reading for much much more exclusive presidential election coverage from the Abyss. Did I mention this coverage is exclusive? No one else would think up shit like this.
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Shouts from the Abyss 
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