Tag Archives: white

The God #Wine

jesus-was-hereI’d like to start with a risky disclosure. [deep breath] Okay! Here goes! Hang on tight, this is going to be one hell of a ride.

In real life I’m not that entertaining.

I know, right?!

I have an analytical personality, specifically “INTJ” aka The Architect which includes, among other things, this telling description: “One Reflects More When Traveling Alone.”

Hella.

As an analytical type, I’ve often gotten into trouble in social situations after being asked a question, especially when I’m not prepared. A question stimulates my brain into “pondering mode” and my face goes blank in the same way as a computer that has been tricked by Captain Kirk.

To the person asking the question, I’m told, this comes across as rude. (Whatever the hell that means.)

(128 words in and the H-bomb has already been dropped three times in a post containing the word “God” in the subject line. Is this guy good or what? -Ed.)

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FOX Spews: There’s Something About Pope

fox-spewsFOX SPEWS ALERT! BREAKING NEWS!

Holy white smoke, Fatman!

We now bring you a LIVE shot of someplace on planet Earth where surging throngs of Pope nerds have assembled to hear about the selection of some guy in some religion.

But first, some pharmaceutical ads. Don’t worry! We’ll do the multiple window thing so the LIVE shot of┬áSt. Peter’s Square in Vatican City will continue while we run the commercials. It’s our commitment to you to bring you continuous coverage of these people milling around a square.
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Chess and Mate

As a public service, we now continue our coverage of the Mitt Romney campaign…

During a recent whistle stop tour, Republican presumptive nominee Mitt Romney delivered two stump speeches to two very different groups. We embedded our correspondents who filed these reports.
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Apple gets Cook’d

Holy shit. White is thin.

This week there was an Apple “launch event” with new CEO Tim Cook at the helm. Weather conditions were perfect and the launch went off without a hitch. The iPhone 4S is now safely in orbit at 347 miles above the surface of the Earth and traveling at a speed of 25,000 feet per second.

The iPhone must already be running HangTime, the best iPhone app ever made. Bar none.

Commander Tim Cook went solo on this mission and the world was ready to eviscerate his bowels based on the fact (not speculation) that he isn’t Steve Jobs.

So, aside from his product safely achieving low Earth orbit – how did it go?
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