Tag Archives: whale

Something Fishy

something-fishy

Who is lying to you? Basically anyone flappin’ their gums. But who’s really lying? I think the probability goes off the charts when it’s someone in retail and/or someone trying to sell you something.

For example, one group conducted a study and found that one-third of seafood sold in the United States is “mislabeled.” I think that’s the nice way of saying, “fucking liars.”

The study found that 50% of tuna sold in Washington D.C. restaurants was something described as “cheaper” and that 87% of the time seafood described as “snapper” was actually something else.

Talk about having a whale of a good time!

In other news, the “biggest US honey supplier admits to laundering, mislabeling Chinese honey.” Yeah, Chinese honey is banned from U.S. markets. That doesn’t mean it’s not for sale down the street, though. Why use the real thing when you can acquire “cheap honey” from China? Because, profits.

Earlier this year Apple agreed to pay $450 million to settle claims it colluded with five major publishers to inflate book prices. As part of the deal, Apple, of course, admitted to no wrongdoing.

Also this year Whole Foods Market, as part of a settlement, was ordered to pay $800,000 for overcharging customers. For its part, Whole Foods claimed their prices were accurate “98% of the time.”

AT&T agreed to pay $105 million as part of a settlement for “adding fees that customers didn’t authorize” to phone bills.

When you stop to consider that these are most likely outlier cases, in terms of actual consequences, it is easy to imagine the vast majority of fraud goes completely unpunished. And you can take that to the bank.

Banks? Never mind. Don’t get me started.

Drop on the deck and flop like a fish! You can trust me, your humble guru. I’m not selling anything.

Sources:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/one-third-of-seafood-mislabeled-study-finds/2013/02/20/e168e032-7b70-11e2-82e8-61a46c2cde3d_story.html

http://www.northjersey.com/food-and-dining-news/is-that-red-snapper-on-your-plate-study-targets-seafood-1.555386

Top 10 things to do during a Twitter outage

What? I can't hear you! Something about fail and a whale?

Have you prepared your Twitter Disaster Response Kit yet? Hint: When Twitter is down, that might be a good time to think about it. Suddenly you’re going to have plenty of free time. Not that you’ll be able to microblog the experience.

Okay, first things first. Twitter is down. Maybe you get the legendary “fail whale.” Maybe it just sits there and just sits*. (Trust me. It’s not thinking.) Maybe the little circular “wait” icon keeps spinning and spinning to let you know it’s doing something. I tried to out-wait the icon but gave up after a quarter hour, thus burning any shot I ever had at my 15-minutes of fame.

If you merely get a blank screen, try to refrain from punching your monitor. That won’t help anyone.

Twitter is down. The first thing to remember is: Stay the fuck calm!!!!!! Do not bludgeon the heads of passerby unless absolutely necessary.
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Breaking news from the poop deck

Poop!OK, I’ll be honest. I don’t know any of these people and couldn’t care less about their little sports spat.

But… the headline includes the word poop and that makes it priority one around here.

Henning Compares Ginn to Jesus, Whale Poop

Verily, thus sayeth the (former) football coach.

As far as I can tell, here is the best biblical reference for this situation:

They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.

Leviticus: 11:11

Sheesh. Some people take sports way too serious. šŸ™‚