Tag Archives: video games

Is This The Train To Desert Bus?


Desert Bus

This is part two in our ongoing coverage of meaningless content. -Ed

Do you like Penn & Teller? Did you know they once made a video game? I just heard about it and I have to say, I love it!

“[H]ere’s another dirty little truth that the media try their best to conceal: There exists in this country a callous, corrupt and corrupting shadow industry that sells, and sows, violence against its own people. Through vicious, violent video games with names like Bulletstorm, Grand Theft Auto, Mortal Kombat and Splatterhouse. And here’s one: it’s called Kindergarten Killers. It’s been online for 10 years.”

–Wayne LaPierre, Executive Vice President of the NRA

So how very nice then that Penn & Teller, in their infinite wisdom, gave us a video game that has no violence. At all. Not even jumping and stomping turtles and knocking them out of their shells. They are inventive bastards, I’ll give ’em that.

Ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between, I present to you the classic video game known as Desert Bus.
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Climbing the “not my job” walls

Whether it’s at work with a co-worker or at a retail store with a member of their staff, we’ve all met the people who send signals, subtle or otherwise, that say, “That’s not my job!”

When I’m the customer and I encounter this, it makes me feel pretty negative about that particular business. I generally keep my mouth shut but avoid the place in the future.

When I’m at work and I encounter this, it makes me wish I spent more time playing first person shooter video games, especially the sort with extreme amounts of unnecessary gore. I wonder if there is a way to digitize an image of fuckface into one of those games?

This is how it typically goes down. A co-worker asks me for something, say it’s a fish. I stop what I’m doing and offer to teach them the method for getting that fish. “No, no, no!” they exclaim. “I don’t have time for that. Just give me the damn fish!” Fine, here you go, asshole.

It just so happens that this is something they need to know, because it’s going to come up again sooner or later, and next time I’m out of the office and they are fucked because no one has any clue what to do, who do you think they are going to call and hassle because it’s an “emergency?”

That’s not the end of it, though. These same people are usually the ones who go far out of their way to make sure you know how to do every single damn aspect of their job, and they give no quarter about accepting their work from you, instead responding, “you do it.” The same folks who couldn’t be bothered to learn anything from you are suddenly frickin’ gurus and you are their student so you can know how to do their work. Perhaps most amazing of all is that they actually expect you to go for a fucked up scenario like that. Truly sub-moronic.

Incidentally these are also often the same folks who blather on about the fact that you should be a “team player” and all that jizz. It’s so important to them about what you are and that you can be properly labeled – by them – in a manner that is satisfactory – to them – while they are in the middle of attempting to control every aspect of your interactions with them and/or your work-related duties.

So basically the person who this post is about won’t let me teach anything important about my job while at the same time he insists on teaching me about his – all while forcing “team player” bullshit down my throat. Congratulations! You’ve figured out how to tap an almost endless reserve of raw unadulterated anger in the middle of my gut.

Fuck that. If you treat me that way then that’s just one more tally in the “hate” column for you. I know it might be surprising to some, but I just tend to not dig one-way relationships that much.

Call of Doodie: Modern Warfare 2

Call of DutyLet’s file this one under the heading of “Conflicting Coverage.”

The new game “Call of Duty 2: Modern Warfare” is being released on Nov. 10. Normally I wouldn’t deign to speak to this topic, but I noticed something interesting in the media coverage.

First up, Reuters, which says (my emphasis added):

Some critics point fingers at the video game industry for often graphic depictions of bloodshed — especially after sensational acts of public violence. But while the “Grand Theft Auto” series has been criticized by some for glorifying crime, “Call of Duty” has not been similarly condemned.

Now a little something from FOX News. Compare and contrast:

NEW YORK — The publisher of “Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2” seems to have a hit on its hands. The company is also hoping to brush some controversial images under the rug.

Footage leaked from the game (and since removed from a variety of Websites) reveals that players can shoot innocent civilians in an airport in a realistic rendering of a terrorist attack.

These are the first two paragraphs of the FOX News coverage of this story. In journalism this is what we call “the lead.”

Reuters emphasizes the release date and the financial projections for the company involved and the potential stock market impact. FOX News prefers to examine the most controversial angle. Interesting to say the least.

Go read for yourself. I report you decide. Now move like you have a purpose, maggots!