Tag Archives: tribal

Survivor: Abyss Island – It’s All Over Except For The #TMI

Teaser: House of Cards challenge.

Teaser: House of Cards challenge.

As I write this it is early Wednesday morning on Day 40. Survivor: Abyss Island is over. It feels surreal to be back in what most of you call “civilization” and totally take for granted. Now is my time to feel morally superior.

Day 40. The heady stuff of legend. A day that all true Survivors, like myself, dream about until our poor little heads feel funny and oogey.

Right now, in the kitchen, I’m using a thing called a “coffee maker” to make an entire pot of coffee. Wow! What will they think of next? I’ll be damned but it actually feels weird. Luckily I haven’t forgotten how. I had just enough leftover reward coffee in my stash so I gleefully dumped it all in the machine. To think; I actually used to hoard this stuff! Ahhhh. Civilization, warts and all, apparently has some advantages.

“Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You know, this is – excuse me – a damn fine cup of coffee. I’ve had I can’t tell you how many cups of coffee in my life and this, this is one of the best.”

Yeah, after 39 days on a metaphorical island I am wont to talk to myself. It’s a dirty thankless job but someone has got to do it. I mean talking to myself. Are you even listening to me?

With my new Survivor-heightened senses, I’m ready to go out and take on the day. Everything is bigger, better and bolder than it ever was before. I do not wish to commit the irrevocable sin of over-sensationalism so I will strive to remain subtle and employ my usual deft touch.

Flavors are bolder. The air is airier. Time is timier. Meaning is meaner. Touch is luxurious. The scents in the air are dreamier. Everything is so goddamned delicious. I’ve picked up the habit of licking everything in the house. Mmmmm… Lead paint!

My God!!! I’ve never felt so alive!!!

This experience has quite literally changed my life. Nothing will ever be the same again. Ever. The old Tom B. Taker is dead. I am the new me. This just might be the next step in human evolution. I’m poised delicately on the cusp of leaving this mortal body behind and transforming into an ethereal being of pure energy and light.

See? I can do subtle. Big time subtle.
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Survivor: Abyss Island – Buff Enough?


Tribal flag and mount. Artist I am not.

A recap of Day 5 action including tribe ZeitGuru’s first reward challenge.

Only one person in the tribe? At last a team I can get down with.

After five days of living on absolutely nothing but water, plain beans, rice, coconut, banana, pineapple and kiwi, I was really looking forward to my first reward challenge.

What would be the reward? Perhaps salt? Oh yeah, that would rock my world. Coffee or tea? Even without sugar that would turn my entire existence upside down.

It’s only been five days.

Whatever the reward, I knew getting it wouldn’t be easy. My wife as Survivor Host, the Probst with the Most, would surely be out to get me. She doesn’t mess around.

On that score, at least, I would not be disappointed.

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Survivor: Abyss Island – Day 1 Recap

abyss-islandSurvivor Day 1: “It Consumes The Nourishment Or It Gets The Hose.”

My idea was a simple one: Eat like a Survivor for 39 days and get a wee taste of what the food situation is like on the hit TV show.

I’m halfway through Day 2 and I can tell you this: Yowza! This is no small thing.

My food yesterday consisted of rice, kidney beans, raw coconut and banana. With no salt. (That’s a biggie.) And I fell 500 calories short of my 1,500 calories per day goal.

But that wasn’t the worst of it.

I made the classic Survivor blunder. I neglected the social game.

In other words, I had no idea what my wife had lying in wait. The Host with the Most has turned my little experiment into something bigger than I expected.

I’m afraid.
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Survivor: Abyss Island

abyss-islandThis morning my wife told me to go outside and check our tree for mail. She’s the boss and the controller of the family coconuts so outside I went. Lo and behold I found this mysterious note near the place where I dug the modest hole I use to go potty:

Set in the jungles of hell for 39 long hard days, Abyss Island will freak your mind, test your feets of strength (yes I said feets) and challenge your brain. You will look forward to Tree Mail, Reward and Immunity Challenges, a Hidden Immunity Idol, Tribal Council for One and maybe even a visit from one of your unloved ones.

Outwit – Outlast – Outplay Yourself

Immunity is what you covet
If you lose don’t let your spirits plummet

Winning games and quizzes are what you’ll play
If you lose you’ll have to pay

Worth playing for?

The Wife

My wife playing the part of Jeff Probst? That’s role playing I can get into. I think. Maybe someone should check my brain.
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Short Story: Failure to Survive #BlogShorts

Failure to Survive
by Tom B. Taker

’Tis a peculiar fate, to live to see thine own torch snuffeth out.

The alliance had fallen.

Helplessly I watch whilst my cohorts fall in succession. The tribe hath spoken.

This post is part of the BlogShorts challenge. June 2011 – 30 stories – 30 words – 30 days.