Tweetography
During my illustrious Twitter career there have been some recurring motifs. If I was George Lucas I’d likely call them “notes.” Like my Twitter is some kind of minuet or something.
Pshaw!
The self-memes include things like Tombstone Authoring, Demotivational Dictionary, Bucket List and so much more. You, of course, won’t have any clue since you ignore my Twitter which is where the vast majority of my comedic goodness goes to die. And deservedly so.
The notes I’ve decided to share today deal with my “Autobiography” meme. And midi-chlorians. Lots and lots of midi-chlorians.
I am the chosen the one. The one who will bring unbalance to the farce.
Without further ado, bring on the notes!
Continue reading →
I’m One In A Million
“What is the nature of existence?” no one asked me.
“You asked,” I replied. “So I’ll tell you…”
Imagine being born into a society. Congratulations! You were the sperm that won. (Unless the fertilization process was technologically interfered with and/or took place inside of a test tube. In that case, here’s your “participant” ribbon.)
For most of thus that’s exactly what happened. We came into existence and then, presumably sometime later, we attained some sort of consciousness. And without knowing what we were doing we began to absorb. Mostly from the idiots who surrounded us.
Nice plan. Now you’re totally fucked.
Continue reading →
The Asshole is trending
No, not the asshole himself. But I have it on good authority that this guy is a close, personal friend. Perhaps he can introduce us?
Hey, stranger. Are you winking at me?
I feel like such a trendsetter. I paid homage to The Asshole very early during the existence of this blog. What is The Asshole? The answer is complicated. It is part dream, part philosophy, and part psychology. It’s an idea as big as The Beatles, the Dali Lama and Mother Teresa wrapped into one big ball of fun. It’s best friend, enemy, lover, and confidant. And yes, it is also a namesake for a critical piece of human anatomy, that which makes life possible.
I did some research prior to writing this post. That research was a bitch. They don’t always make it easy. Sometimes it is hard to answer questions like:
- What day was my first posting?
- When was the first time I used the word “asshole?”
- When was the first time I used the phrase “Society of Assholes?”
- How many posts contain the word “asshole?”
- How many times has the word “asshole” been used in a subject line?
Search has come a long way, but sometimes getting answers to seemingly simple questions like these can be a real bitch.
But I digress. Finally I did figure out a way to answer some of these.
Continue reading →
Shouts from the Abyss 
Recent Comments