Tag Archives: tom

Famous Toms: Stankus

Allegedly a Stankus, Tom. No relation.

Allegedly: Stankus, Tom. No relation.

I was sitting around holding my eyelids open and trying to shoot tiddlywinks inside when I had an idea. “My name is Tom. Who are other people named Tom?”

Yes. It is time for this blog to get all educational up in your grill. I am proud to present a new irregular ongoing series entitled Famous Toms From History.

First up is someone named Stankus. Yes, that’s Tom Stankus, you brainiac. You catch on fast.

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Delta, Science and The Bible

I believe that The Bible is incomplete. Each and every book should have ended with the sentence: “Well played, God. Welllll played.”

I speak from experience since I believe the point of my life has been to add a new chapter. Hint: It’ll be called The Book of Tom and it’ll be inserted right after Job. Howdy, neighbor!

Take today, for example. Seriously. Please take it.

Yesterday I had yakisoba noodles with chicken for lunch. I ate less than I wanted because I was saving it. For today.

I now read from the Book of Tom:

Tom’s Law #42
Look forward to something and you’ll get exactly what you deserve.

I was really looking forward to lunch today. I think we all know this isn’t going to turn out well. Let us prey.

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TOM Regurgitated

tom-conferenceToday we have elected to revisit one of our favorites from the series of posts known as TOM Talks. Actually, I think this is also the only post in the series, but I’m not really sure, since I haven’t been listening.

For members of Generation Z, please feel free to load the post on your favorite device. Perhaps even the iPad strapped to your lover’s back. There is no read to¬†interrupt¬†your important business, such as the act of coitus, while you enjoy this talk.

Click the link below to begin the presentation.

TOM Talks: Conversational Masturbation