Abyss Christmas Gift Giving Guide 2014
It’s Christmas 2014 already. How the hell did that happen? Who has been playing with the time machine?
If it’s pitch black in the house by 5pm it must be time for me to get off my ass and start working on the Abyss Gift Giving Guide. Well, okay. I’ll give it a shot.
We were supposed to have flying cars by what? 2008? 1999? Where are they? Where are my flying cars? In the meantime, what else ain’t we got?
The following ideas are products of my fertile incontinent barren mind and may not yet be available in stores…
Thank god this has nothing to do with Microsoft.
Tanks a lot, China
Dear China: Please suck on this image of the Tiananmen Square massacre.
I can’t imagine why you don’t want your citizens to be able to view this picture on the internet.
Oh yeah. In other news, Google pulls out of China. Sorry, Google. It’s a little too late for that. China is already pregnant.
Also, please stop sending your plastic toys and other pieces of shit. I’m suffering from a massive case of DO NOT WANT.