Tag Archives: t-shirt

I’ve got the Juice!

When life gives you lemons make yourself invisible and steal some shit…

Today’s t-shirt idea is a tribute to a bank robber from 1995 with panache and a fresh lemony scent.

McArthur Wheeler, age 45, 5’6″ tall and 270 pounds, was a man on a mission when he walked into a Fidelity Savings Bank, brandished a gun and demanded money.

There were two interesting quirks about his robbery attempt.

First, he made absolutely no attempt at disguise or hiding himself from security cameras.

Second, his eyes were burning, he had to squint, and he was having trouble with his vision.

About an hour after the robbery Wheeler was easily located and arrested by police, who had no trouble identifying the suspect from the surveillance tapes.

When interviewed, Wheeler expressed surprise at being caught. “But I wore the juice,” he explained.

Yes, during the robbery, Wheeler had covered his face with lemon juice. He was under the impression that coating his face with lemon juice would protect his image from being recorded by cameras. (Apparently he wasn’t worried about any witnesses identifying him later, either.)

Wheeler was no dummy. Prior to the robbery he had performed “various tests” including taking a self-portrait with a Polaroid camera. When he didn’t see himself in the picture, he reasoned that the juice must have rendered him invisible!

Later it was theorized that he simply must have aimed the camera poorly.

I loved the phrase, “But I wore the juice!” so much I decided to immortalize it in this t-shirt design. I would be proud to wear this t-shirt anywhere since I would also like very much to be invisible. It sure would come in handy. Squinty and painful eyes are a small price to pay for that!

This post is based on a story in the New York Times about a theory that some stupid people are too stupid to know that they are stupid. Or something like that.

The New York Times – The Anosognosic’s Dilemma: Something’s Wrong but You’ll Never Know What It Is (Part 1)

The Princess Bride t-shirts

My next big idea: A line of t-shirts based on the movie The Princess Bride. That movie has a veritable plethora of shirt ideas. 🙂

These are either exact quotes or phrases based on the movie…


I mock your pain.

As you wish.

Looking for the six-fingered man.

Life is pain.

Rodent of unusual size.

I am not left-handed.

Dread Pirate Roberts.

You killed my father. Prepare to die.

You think true love happens every day?

You seem like a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.

Mostly-dead all day.

I know something you don’t know.

Get used to disappointment.

Give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it.

No one withstands The Machine.

Death only delays true love.

You warthog-faced buffoon.

Please consider me as an alternative to suicide.

Critics rave about these shirt ideas

Today’s idea: T-shirts based on over-the-top advertising hype.

Yes, some of these are intended to be ribald.

30 percent more free!

Serving suggestion.

Now even more scrumptious.

New and improved!

Recommended by 4 out of 5 doctors.

Have me your way.

Positively has to be there overnight.

Chosen by choosy mothers.

Proven effective.

Guaranteed results.

Save now on love.

Fast! Easy! Very low cost!

Power, performance and speed!

Not sold in stores.

First time offered.

Enjoyed at home, office or car.

Completely confidential.

Delivered to your door.

Enormous potential.

Emerging growth.

Exceeds expectations.

Fast results.

Top-down strategies.

Rent to own.

Limited to first caller.

Incredibly easy to use!