Tag Archives: surveillance

A Frisky Constitutional

RightsI thought the headline was so hilarious until I found out “constitutional” is decidedly¬†not a word that means “enema.” Dammit!

Still, ever since colonic times we Americans have clung to fiercely held beliefs that we know to be self-evident. (Whew, that was a close one. For a moment there I almost didn’t bring this article down to the proper level.)

I may still be gin treatment but allow me to raise up my Tom Colonic and propose a wee toast:

O say NSA spying on through the night,
And so proudly assailed with your eyesight’s fast scheming,
With broad swipes and little regard to what was right,
O’er the sheeple you watched, and the porn they were streaming?

Source: Tom B. Taker, lyricist

As we all know, those rights our founders held so dear were elegantly immortalized in the U.S. Constitution. Except for the stuff they got wrong, of course, like those not “free” being counted as only three-fifths of a person and women not having the right to vote.

I don’t want to hit you with an elementary civics lesson, but we all know the primary function of the Supreme Court Of The United States (SCOTUS) is to chisel away at the rights enumerated in that great document.

In other words, it’s finally time for me to weigh in on NSA monitoring, PRISM and more.
Continue reading →

American KeyLoggers Axehole Men

Imagine you are a decent sort, doing your best to do the right thing. It’s hard, huh?

Now, imagine you are decidedly not the decent sort. In fact, just for fun, imagine you are the frothy layer on the top of the scum of humanity. Or, as I like to put it, a boss.

Meanwhile, nefarious aspects of the world are always out there, shooting little tendrils of temptation in your direction. They might be hard to resist by even the most well-intentioned human. But to you, a person with absolutely no morals or scruples of any kind, these enticements are like a jizz party in your pants. They’re like candy-coated sugar dipped in chocolate made from cocoa beans harvested by children overseen by sweaty dudes with machine guns.

In other words, good stuff!

Continue reading →

Hidden camera politics is the new creepiness

Hidden camera hatAll’s fair in love and war, correct? Today’s new creepiness: Video camera “stings” by your political enemies.

Now for only about $200 you can own your own video camera surveillance hat complete with USB cable! Yes, it’s that easy! That makes it so accessible any wingnut can make a go of it!

When TV news used the hidden camera trick to catch bad guy mechanics unnecessarily charging to replace new oil filters, that was not so bad. Those guys needed to be stopped and the people with the cameras were motivated mostly by journalistic standards.

When it is your political enemies, though, all bets are off. They don’t have any obligation or desire to adhere to basic principles of journalism.

Continue reading →