Tag Archives: supervision

After School Special: Booze Lotto Parenting

World's greatest mom.

World’s greatest mom.

Sure, you love kids, so you gleefully punched out one, two or even octo-quantities of them. (Hint: Almost as many as a nine-round ammo clip.) But then, like a baby chick a few days after Easter Sunday, they stick around and are always underfoot, demanding attention and care.

What then?

It’s not like you can make a chicken-and-egg scrambled omelet with them and viola! Problem deliciously solved! (Although an amazing number of parents do find a way to carry out filicide but that’s decidedly outside the scope of this post.)

Like the vast majority of my blog posts, it all started when I decided to set foot out of my house…

Looking for some dinner my wife and I drove into the parking lot of the divey Chinese restaurant. The lot was amazingly full. What gives? The food must be awesome here, eh?

But when we walked into the dining area, only two tables were occupied. Huh?

That’s when I slapped my head and yelled, “D’oh!” I almost forgot I live in Oregon. That’s where they have a state-run lottery and run a continuous stream of commercials urging the citizenry to go out and gamble because doing so accomplishes “good things.” (Like increasing revenue into state coffers.)

Sure, they simultaneously run anti-gambling ads but that’s only because they like a mixed-up, dazed and confused populace. Let’s blast ’em with a hot mix of pro-gambling and anti-gambling messages … at the same time, they seem to be saying whilst rubbing their hands together in glee. That’ll learn ’em a lesson!

Indeed. What’s not good for the individual is apparently good for the state.
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Crowbar the Cow

Ah, humans. Is there anything they can’t do?

Today’s bit of gushing goodness comes to us from Plain City, Ohio, home of the world famous Conklin Dairy Farms. Of course, in this context, the word “gushing” means blood.

One of their employees, a wonderful young man named Billy Joe Gregg, Jr., age 25, was recently video taped by an animal welfare group. What, pray tell, did the videos show? Billy Joe and other workers doing things like:

  • beating cows with crowbars.
  • poking cows with pitchforks.
  • striking cows with metal pipes.
  • holding down newborn calves and stomping on their heads.
  • wiring a cow’s nose to a metal bar while it was beaten.
  • punching and striking cows in the face.

I often hear people say that when it comes to your job, you gotta love what you do. Billy Joe sure seems to have a certain sort of enthusiasm about his, eh? He’s already done more in his short life than I ever could. Imagine, he still has his whole life in front of him! Of course, I find the techniques described above a little odd for a dairy operation. Maybe this ain’t exactly what you’d call a modernized dairy.

Our good old boy Billy Joe was jailed and charged with 12 counts of animal cruelty. Each count has a maximum penalty of 90 days in jail and a $750 fine.

Meanwhile, the good folks at Conklin Dairy Farms were quick to point out that this sort of behavior on the part of their employees is not condoned. They condemned what was shown on the 20 hours of raw video, fired Billy Joe, and said they were cooperating with the authorities.

“We will not condone animal abuse on our farm,” the dairy said in a statement released Wednesday. “We have launched our own internal investigation into this matter and will be conducting interviews with everyone on our farm who works with our animals.” (Source.)

How very touching. The dairy wants to maintain a certain public image after their employees were caught red-handed doing unspeakable things.

We have conducted an initial review of the video that the activist group has released. The video shows animal care that is clearly inconsistent with the high standards we set for our farm and its workers, and we find the specific mistreatment shown on the video to be reprehensible and unacceptable. (Source: Conklin Dairy Cattle Sales LLC media release.)

Eh? “High standards” must mean something different to the Conklins. Maybe it means management is required to be intoxicated all the time. Who the hell knows?

My simply question? How could the dairy possibly not have know what was going on? The total lack of supervision required for that level of ignorance is almost unimaginable. They don’t even know what their employees are doing? Pulverized cows are invisible??? Either that dairy is one of the most mismanaged operations in history or their public statements are full of shit.

But that’s the rub, isn’t it? Whether the dairy ownership knew about the behavior or not is utterly irrelevant. “We couldn’t be bothered to look” is the card that is too often played in these sorts of situations. Sorry, but failure to keep yourself informed about your own operation is not a valid defense. By owning and operating the dairy you are responsible whether you decided to keep yourself informed about your fucking employees or not.

Conklin Dairy Farms has their “high standards” or so they say. They allow their employees to engage in disgusting behavior, either with the organization’s implied consent or by their own indifference, then they quickly throw their employees under the bus as soon as they are caught in an attempt to salvage their own image. That’s classy.

Judging by some of the recent comments on Google, I think Conklin Dairy Farms may have a few problems in the days ahead. I call that justice.

Moral of the story: Never hire someone named “Billy Joe” and leave him alone with your cattle when it could destroy your entire operation and livlihood. Ooops.

Stick a pitchform in them. They are done!

Click here to see public comments regarding Conklin Dairy Farms from Google Maps

Text of media release:

DONNA MILLER – Media Statement – Conklin farm

CONKLIN DAIRY CATTLE SALES LLC

Media Statement – Conklin Dairy Cattle Sales LLC – May 25, 2010, 10:15pm

The following statement can be attributed to Gary Conklin of Conklin Dairy Cattle Sales LLC in Plain City, Ohio.

The statement is issued in response to a release of undercover video by an animal activist group.

“As fourth-generation farmers, our family takes the care of our cows and calves very seriously. We take equally seriously the allegations that have been made about our farm operation and the mistreatment of our animals.

“We have conducted an initial review of the video that the activist group has released. The video shows animal care that is clearly inconsistent with the high standards we set for our farm and its workers, and we find the specific mistreatment shown on the video to be reprehensible and unacceptable.

“We will not condone animal abuse on our farm. We have launched our own internal investigation into this matter and will be conducting interviews with everyone on our farm who works with our animals. We will immediately terminate any farm worker found to have willfully abused our cows and calves.

“We intend to cooperate fully with authorities in this situation. Further, our farm will institute immediate retraining of all those who remain on the farm and who work with our animals.

“The trust of our customers in the way we operate our farm, care for our herds and produce quality, safe milk is of critical importance to us, and we will work to maintain that trust as we address this issue.”

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