Here Protection
Summer is still weeks away but we’re already beginning to feel the effects.
The local TV news, which consists of 18 minutes weather, 2 minutes news and 10 minutes commercials, has been telling us for months that practically every single day is setting another local weather record. In winter we had the warmest winter days ever. There have been lots of rainfall records along the way, including one just a couple of days ago. And now, finally, record heat days are occurring on a regular basis.
I think we’re setting a record on setting new records. Somebody check the records. This has got to be true.
Living in Portland means, of course, there is no air conditioning in our house circa 1950s. I think they hates them, they do. Maybe things were cooler in the 1950s so people didn’t think they were really needed? Bioswale floors, walls, ceilings and roofs constructed out of organic kale didn’t exist back then, did they?
Whatever the case, when the heat hits our house like an oven on broil, the windows, reluctantly, have to be placed in the “open” position. And that’s when the shit goes sideways.
Hello, neighbors.
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Steal Team Nicked
This is day ten of The Dog Days of Summer, a Blogdramedy writing challenge. If you came here looking for quality content you are decidedly barking up the wrong tree. -Ed.
Steal Team Nicked
by
Tom B. Taker
Digger sniffed and proceeded forward. Cautiously! His ears were up and pointy as shuriken.
One paw after another. The progress was slow.
“Damn!” He muttered as his toenail snagged the shiny floor.
Click!
He froze but he heard nothing. His cover wasn’t blown.
The terrain familiar, he’d been here before, he peered carefully around a blind corner. The enemy’s tactics were the stuff of legend.
Relieved, he paused, but only for a moment. He could now see his target and he’d tarried behind enemy lines far too long.
Sprinting forward, he grabbed Tim’s potato chips in his maw and darted out just as the automatic doors slid closed behind him.
Blogdramedy’s The Dog Days of Summer writing challenge commands victims participants to author ten stories, ten days in a row, consisting of exactly 110 words each. All stores are themed based on dogs that she has pre-selected. For more information about the challenge and to view the work of other participants, please click the link. But only if you want stories that have real teeth.
Breeze Feathers
This is day nine of The Dog Days of Summer, a Blogdramedy writing challenge. If you came here looking for quality content you are decidedly barking up the wrong tree. -Ed.
Breeze Feathers
by
Tom B. Taker
“Hello. My name’s Odious Rex. People call me Odie.”
The cat slid and made room. “You can sit here. This seat’s not taken.” It was fate because they went together like peas and carrots.
“You ever eaten real shrimp lasagna?” the cat asked.
“No,” Odie replied. “But I’ve eaten real big lasagna.”
One time the cat threw a stick. Odie leaped after it and returned it faster than the wind blows.
“OOOOODIE!!! Why did you return that stick so quickly?” the cat demanded.
Odie was confused. “You told me to, cat?”
“God damn it, Odie! You’re a god damn genius! This is the most outstanding answer I have ever heard.”
Blogdramedy’s The Dog Days of Summer writing challenge commands victims participants to author ten stories, ten days in a row, consisting of exactly 110 words each. All stores are themed based on dogs that she has pre-selected. For more information about the challenge and to view the work of other participants, please click the link. But only if you want stories that have real teeth.
Soiled
This is day eight of The Dog Days of Summer, a Blogdramedy writing challenge. If you came here looking for quality content you are decidedly barking up the wrong tree. -Ed.
Soiled
by
Tom B. Taker
Saying, “Here you go, buddy, good boy!” George made a toss to Astro. Without thinking the dog jumped, performed a midair catch and secreted it in his death grip.
“Rut is it?” he asked, his ability to speak temporarily compromised.
“It’s a bone!”
He nodded as if understanding then something instinctual kicked in. Although delicious, he was filled with an unbidden urge. Bury it.
He pawed at the floor but scampered outside after a dirty look from Rosie.
Bury it! But where? The unbidden thought returned: In the ground.
He looked around as the sidewalk moved him along. Buildings and streets gleamed in every direction.
Too bad dirt was extinct.
Blogdramedy’s The Dog Days of Summer writing challenge commands victims participants to author ten stories, ten days in a row, consisting of exactly 110 words each. All stores are themed based on dogs that she has pre-selected. For more information about the challenge and to view the work of other participants, please click the link. But only if you want stories that have real teeth.
Hot Dog
This is day seven of The Dog Days of Summer, a Blogdramedy writing challenge. If you came here looking for quality content you are decidedly barking up the wrong tree. -Ed.
Hot Dog
by
Tom B. Taker
They thought he always wore his black suit and tie like a good boy. He had perpetuated their errant assumptions.
Sure he had issues. He figured anyone would resent being grown from stem cells in a petri dish. It felt so alien. They thought he was dumb but he knew what they said behind his back.
“Frankendog.”
Things would be made right. After the time warp party he’d unleash a pugnacious creation of his own. Rocky, designed with blonde hair and a tan, who’d been ordered to “stay” on his slab until unbosomed.
Frank ditched the suit and snuggled into his corset and stockings. Dr. Frank-N-Furter would show … them … all.
Blogdramedy’s The Dog Days of Summer writing challenge commands victims participants to author ten stories, ten days in a row, consisting of exactly 110 words each. All stores are themed based on dogs that she has pre-selected. For more information about the challenge and to view the work of other participants, please click the link. But only if you want stories that have real teeth.
Sigh 2.0
This is day six of The Dog Days of Summer, a Blogdramedy writing challenge. If you came here looking for quality content you are decidedly barking up the wrong tree. -Ed.
Sigh 2.0
by
Tom B. Taker
The typewriter atop the little red doghouse furiously clacked…
…
“Here’s the high-tech visioneer ascending the stage. Suddenly…”
…
Meanwhile, in an overly-elaborate thought bubble…
…
The houselights dimmed and a hush rippled through the assembled guests. The curtains parted and he stepped out.
The crowd went wild.
A master of audience manipulation with a flair for histrionics, he waited patiently for the perfect moment.
Then, triumphantly, he seized the red bowl in his mouth and held it above his head, dramatically revealing it for all to see.
The crowd exploded in frenzy.
“I give you the iBowl!” he emoted.
…
Charlie looked up from the typewritten page. “Good grief!” he cried.
Blogdramedy’s The Dog Days of Summer writing challenge commands victims participants to author ten stories, ten days in a row, consisting of exactly 110 words each. All stores are themed based on dogs that she has pre-selected. For more information about the challenge and to view the work of other participants, please click the link. But only if you want stories that have real teeth.
Calling Again
This is day five of The Dog Days of Summer, a Blogdramedy writing challenge. If you came here looking for quality content you are decidedly barking up the wrong tree. -Ed.
Calling Again
by
Tom B. Taker
Eddie couldn’t hear everything they said but occasionally he picked up certain words like sweet, adorable and good boy.
He smiled the sort of smile they had never seen. If they had, he would have been sent away a long time ago. They had good cushions for rolling so he kept things on the down-low.
Eddie turned back to the computer, the glow illuminating his face, and proofed what he had entered into Craigslist:
Subject: Bitches for dinner shoots
Seeking playful and fetching models for private photo sessions. 2+ and female only please! Tame but must be open to fetish scenes including Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs. Nothing sexual!
Musical Pairing: Eddie by Styx
Addendum: As much as I hate to give anything away, I sincerely hope everyone gets the “dog years” joke. The online resource I used said that one dog year = 15 human years and that two dog years = 24 human years. So I played it safe and rounded up to two. It’s an 18+ adults only joke in dog form.
Blogdramedy’s The Dog Days of Summer writing challenge commands victims participants to author ten stories, ten days in a row, consisting of exactly 110 words each. All stores are themed based on dogs that she has pre-selected. For more information about the challenge and to view the work of other participants, please click the link. But only if you want stories that have real teeth.
Shouts from the Abyss 
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