Tag Archives: substance

You Must Present

I like this image. No disrespect to Pankaj Ghemawat is intended.

I like this image. No disrespect to Pankaj Ghemawat or the Eight Percent is intended.

These days, if you decide to come after Twitter, you had best bring your A-game. You gotta have cred. Because, when the shit hits the fan, you have a grand total of .42 seconds to capture the attention of that potential follower or lose ’em forever.

You get one chance. One!!

Strike while the iron is hot. Seize the day. Squeeze lemonade out of their lemons. Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.

That’s where I come in. My latest business idea will give you insta-playa status. Make the jump for our special presentation or choose the path that leads to dying alone.

Continue reading →

Good news for those having a bad day

Thanks for hanging on to that for us. We'll just be taking that back now.

Just when you thought your worries and troubles couldn’t get any worse, suddenly the Good News Fairy shows up to brighten your day.

You think you’ve got problems? Bill collectors calling all the time? Unable to see the dentist about your painful cavities? Need expensive medical tests but the answer is “no” because you have absolutely no medical insurance even though you work full time? Your job sucks and you see no way out?

Forget all that happy crappy! Don’t let a frowny cloud show up and rain on your day! There are people with much more serious problems out there.

South Koren pole vaulter Lim Eun-ji tested positive for a banned substance during an event in May and has been suspended for three months from competition. In June the 21-year-old Lim told a hearing that she didn’t “intentionally” take the banned substance.

ESPN: Lim suspended three months

Man oh man, am I glad I’m not in her shoes. Can you even imagine how horrible that must be for her?

Another athlete is also in the news. Lee Kyong-jae had just won a “gold medal” in May in the “men’s 5,000-meter event” and also tested positive for some banned stuff. He has been suspended two years and will have to return his gold medal.

So don’t feel too sorry for yourself. Your problems might seem bad but they are magnificently dwarfed by what brave athletes like these have to go through every single day for you and me. They are the standard bearers of the sum of our hopes and dreams.

If I can stop being so damn selfish and feeling sorry for myself I’m going to try to set aside some time every single day to remember and honor their shining examples. I know they appreciate their gifts and blessings way more than I could ever appreciate mine.