Grief has gotten all the glory in the five-stages biz. It’s high time for Despair to have its moment in the sun. Just for fun, though, I call them flavors.

Introducing the Five Flavors of Despair ™:

• Basic
• Special
• Ingrained
• Righteous
• Indignant

I would like to note that these flavors are not meant to be a complete list of all possible stages of despair that can be felt, and, they can occur in any order. My hypothesis holds that not everyone who experiences life groks all five of the flavors, as reactions to life are as unique as the person experiencing them. Note: There is one special case where all five flavors are perfectly experienced simultaneously. This is known as a Grand Wham ™.

Enough clinical shit! Let’s bust out with some real world examples and see how it makes you feel. Remember, there are no right answers!

Topic: Living in a Society

• You don’t own a dog yet your lawn is covered with dog poop.
• You don’t smoke yet your property is littered with cigarettes.
• You are quiet and tranquil on your patio yet your neighbors blast music.
• You have achieved 100 percent recycling yet 99% of city property is landfill.
• You never litter yet your street is covered with trash.
• In theaters you turn off your phone yet you can’t see/hear the movie due to other’s devices.

For honorary despairologist credentials, please post your own examples of “Living in a Society” in the comments section below. A despair specialist will get back to you with customized despair recommendations.