I thought the headline was so hilarious until I found out “constitutional” is decidedly not a word that means “enema.” Dammit!

Still, ever since colonic times we Americans have clung to fiercely held beliefs that we know to be self-evident. (Whew, that was a close one. For a moment there I almost didn’t bring this article down to the proper level.)

I may still be gin treatment but allow me to raise up my Tom Colonic and propose a wee toast:

O say NSA spying on through the night,
And so proudly assailed with your eyesight’s fast scheming,
With broad swipes and little regard to what was right,
O’er the sheeple you watched, and the porn they were streaming?

Source: Tom B. Taker, lyricist

As we all know, those rights our founders held so dear were elegantly immortalized in the U.S. Constitution. Except for the stuff they got wrong, of course, like those not “free” being counted as only three-fifths of a person and women not having the right to vote.

I don’t want to hit you with an elementary civics lesson, but we all know the primary function of the Supreme Court Of The United States (SCOTUS) is to chisel away at the rights enumerated in that great document.

In other words, it’s finally time for me to weigh in on NSA monitoring, PRISM and more.
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