Tag Archives: songs

Abyss Love Songs hashtag What What

By Tom B. Taker on | 4 Comments

boba-fettI’ve learned that Twitter is the perfect place to hide my most intimate thoughts with little risk of them ever being discovered. Fiendishly clever, eh? For some time I’ve been using Twitter to send out long distance dedications using the hashtag #AbyssLoveSongs. No one ever suspected a thing.

Let’s tune in and take a listen to the chilled, ambient grooves of Young Guru in Love, shall we?

I Got Wipes #AbyssLoveSongs

I Want To Eat Your Bran #AbyssLoveSongs

Don’t Bring A Strife To A Fun Fight #AbyssLoveSongs

All I Wanna Do Is A Shroom Shroom #AbyssLoveSongs

Another One Rides The Truss #AbyssLoveSongs

Be My Shover #AbyssLoveSongs

Saturday Night’s Alright For Biting #AbyssLoveSongs

Dangers In The Night #AbyssLoveSongs

Born To Be Mild #AbyssLoveSongs

Snub Will Keep Us Together #AbyssLoveSongs

You’ll Never Wok Alone #AbyssLoveSongs

I’m No Excited #AbyssLoveSongs

You’ve Got A Fiend #AbyssLoveSongs

What Part Of Ho Don’t You Understand #AbyssLoveSongs #AbyssChristmasSongs #holiday

Everybody Regret Now #AbyssLoveSongs

Come Flail Away #AbyssLoveSongs

Does Anybody Really Know What Slime It Is #AbyssLoveSongs

Where Did You Peep Last Night #AbyssLoveSongs

It’s My Bacardi I’ll Fry If I Want To #AbyssLoveSongs

In The Middle Of The Spite #AbyssLoveSongs

Sweet Child In Brine #AbyssLoveSongs

Welcome To The Fungal #AbyssLoveSongs

Bit Me Baby One More Time #AbyssLoveSongs

Hitch A Snide #AbyssLoveSongs

Can’t Guile Without You #AbyssLoveSongs

Return To Blender #AbyssLoveSongs

We Will Block You #AbyssLoveSongs

RT @Metalworks4: @shoutabyss #AbyssLoveSongs Whole Lotta Glove (as sung by a proctologist)

LARP Dressed Man #AbyssLoveSongs

You’re The One That I Taunt #AbyssLoveSongs

Afternoon Be Fright #AbyssLoveSongs

Don’t Go Staking My Heart #AbyssLoveSongs #vampiric

Ring Of Ire #AbyssLoveSongs

I Want To Hold Your Gland #AbyssLoveSongs

When I Kneed You #AbyssLoveSongs

Put Your Head On My Sleepy Hollow #AbyssLoveSongs

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#FridayMorningKnifeParty – I memed myself

By Tom B. Taker on | 1 Comment

An online buddy and super cool person likes to have “dance parties” on Twitter. Usually too early in the morning. On a Friday not so long ago, I decided to have a dance party of my own and a new meme was born here in the Abyss.

Continue reading →

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A Very Abyss Christmas

By Tom B. Taker on | 6 Comments

Just in time for the holidays…

Is the holiday season making your spirits too bright? If you find yourself feeling goodwill towards men, this new classic holiday CD might just help. Pop it in the old music machine and shatter some peace on Earth, won’t you?

Deck your fellow man instead of those pesky halls!

Not available in any stores!

Now how much would you pay?

Only 24 easy payments of $2.99. Operators are standing by. Don’t visit the Shopping Maul and punch women in the face just for the chance to own this fabulous bit of Christmas musical history. Ordering factory direct from China is available on our pimped out web site.

Come on! Step up and order today, but only if you’ve got the jingle balls to make a consumption decision that will change your life — forever! (All sales final.)

Includes classic downer hits like:

Critics fucking rave:

It’s a breadth of freth aire.
—Some guy we paid who consented to us paraphrasing his words

And…

Songs from the Abyss cured my holiday cheer in no time at all!
—Grandmother Taker (shortly before her most recent stroke)

And…

That’s 45 minutes of my life I’ll never get back and I couldn’t be happier!
—Our recording engineer

I hope you’ll enjoy these timeless Christmas classics as my precious gift to you. Ho ho ho.

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