Tag Archives: soccer

She Shoots! She Bores!


Getting ready to bore you.

I used to live in a small rural conservative town. Against impossible odds a few dozen acres of prime real estate were somehow exempted from feverish development for a “sports park.” The community took understandable pride in what they had built: a crowning jewel featuring baseball diamonds, fishing ponds, soccer fields, tennis courts, volleyball and more.

Finally the local amateur sport leagues had a place where they could shine and participate in the time-honored activity of athletic competition. The facility was promptly used as a means of gender-based oppression by giving all the best time slots to the boy leagues. Girl leagues were relegated to sloppy seconds.

Thanks for playing.

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Killer of soccer referee gets three years

On Saturdays this space normally features a WordPress reblog but I wasn’t able to find a post regarding a story from earlier this year that deeply affected me. I’m posting an update regarding this story instead.

Earlier this year there was a very disturbing story involving a 17-year-old youth playing in a recreational soccer league that was intended to give suburban kids a chance.

While playing the goalie position, the unnamed youth reportedly pushed a player attempting a corner kick. After justifiably drawing a yellow card the youth protested the call and shouted at the volunteer referee who had made the call.

As the yellow card was being written, the youth suckerpunched the referee, Ricardo Portillo, 46, in the side of the head. By the time police arrived Portillo was curled on the ground in a fetal position and complaining of nausea and back pain. The referee was rushed to a hospital and slipped into a coma later that evening. Within two days Portillo was dead from brain swelling and injuries resulting from the punch.

On Aug. 5, 2013, the youth plead guilty as part of deal reached with prosecutors. The deal prevented the youth from being tried as an adult, only about three months before his 18th birthday. Under the deal the youth will serve a maximum of just over three years in a juvenile prison, although a juvenile parole board could decide to release the youth earlier.

The juvenile court judge also ordered the youth to maintain a picture of the victim in his cell and write a letter to the man’s daughters every week to remind him of the pain he caused the man’s family.

Again, that’s three years in a juvenile prison for a guilty plea on a charge of “homicide by assault.” Sad.

Video: Pyschotic soccer chick

I’m not into sports any more (I smell a future blog post) but every once in a while a video can still catch my eye. Enjoy!

Some thoughts:

  • Aapparently the refs didn’t do so good at catching her in the act during the game. Yellow card?!?!?!? Come on! I would hope (in vain no doubt) that a video like this would cause her team to record a loss for the outing.
  • Criminal charges? Yeah, I think so.
  • She should be banned from whatever league/school thingy she’s in.
  • That bitch has got some major issues. I recommend that she terminate the testosterone treatments immediately or risk sporting a beard. She should also consider having her testicles removed.
  • Her name is Elizabeth Lambert and here is her page on the team’s web site.

Breaking news: I hear she’s been banned “indefinitely.” That usually means a few weeks or until it begins to upset the sponsors or something like that. That video has over 2 million views so no doubt by now she’s a “celebrity.” Oh joy.


She’s majoring in University Studies with a focus on (drum roll please)…Occupational Therapy!

Oh snap!