Nobody's gonna hurt anybody. We're gonna be like little Fonzies here. And what's Fonzie like? He's cool.

I’m too young to remember the day that Kennedy was shot. I have no memory of that day. For those that were old enough I’m told it was a day seared into their minds forever.

But I can still remember the day when Fonzie jumped the shark. It was September 20, 1977.

For some strange reason, though, I can’t even vaguely remember the plot that led to the Fonz donning his trademark leather jacket and jumping a shark on water skies. Was that a flotation belt around his waist? Decidedly uncool. And the shark was confined? Yawn.

You know what? That episode of Happy Days totally jumped the shark, yo.

That scene was so dumb that it eventually led to the phrase “jumping the shark” becoming an idiom in American English.

Idioms are off the hook, yo.

Wikipedia’s page for the phrase “jumping the shark” provides the following bit of illumination:

Jumping the shark is an idiom used to describe the moment of downturn for a previously successful enterprise. The phrase was originally used to denote the point in a television program’s history where the plot spins off into absurd story lines or unlikely characterizations. These changes were often the result of efforts to revive interest in a show whose viewership has begun to decline, usually through the employment of different actors, writers or producers.

I trust by now you see the relevance of this particular phrase to us denizens of the Abyss. Even though we don’t really have any sharks down here. All we’ve got are these bug-eyes albino newts due to the lack of sunlight.

Clearly I’ve lost my edge. It’s time to put this blog out of your misery. In this case it’s pretty clear where things went wrong. The first post. It’s been all downhill since then. Someone grab a fork.

Seriously, you’ve got to give it up for a blog that can jump the shark on the very first post, yo. I mean, it’s not a good sign when your entire existence is behind the “jumping the shark” curve, eh?

Oh wait. I just noticed the words “previously successful enterprise” in the definition. Dammit, jump the shark status denied! My bad.