Work It
“What is the meaning of work?” a guru asked his friend.
His friend replied, “Well, son, it happens when your wits have reached their end.”
Life is work. Work is life.
Some people, I like to think of them as motherfuckers, would have us believe shit like this.
What is work? Is it something you do in order to survive? Or is it the meaning of life itself? It seems to me that maybe, just maybe, your perspective might be based on who you are. For example, if you are The King and lounge around all day with your turkey drumsticks, your opinion that servants should pursue a life of labor just might be biased. Ya think?
Me? I’ve never been all that enthralled with money and I was born and raised into a culture where work is something exclusively done in the pursuit of money. To me money is something that enables a standard of living and some of the stuff I want. Beyond that? Who gives a shit?
So I guess it’s not too surprising that my work ethic follows suit. I don’t work for fun. I don’t work because it is its own reward. I work because I have to. Period. No other reason. Zip. Nada. Bupkis. I simply see no other choice. How many non-work life paths are there and which of them could meet my needs?
Basically the only reason I work is so I can enjoy the times I’m not working.
And, right now, at this moment in my life as a citizen of the United States, I currently enjoy the maximum number of vacation days as required by law.
Zero.
The Sin of the Droplet #drabble
He could feel it starting. Up along the ridge where forehead met hairline. And he knew there was absolutely nothing he could do to stop it.
Advent Calendar of the Seven Seals
Four Horsemen expansion pack shown (available 2012)
Finally, we’re bringing the fun and excitement of Christmas to the Apocalypse…
The Lamb opening the book with seven seals. Source: Wikipedia.
Announcing the Advent Calendar of the Seven Seals, another quality Shouts from the Abyss product.
From the company that brought you Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Army Men and The Shake Your Baby Baby doll, comes the season’s hit must-have consumable merchandise.
Play along at home as worldwide events build to a climax celebrating each milestone by opening a panel to reveal a secret surprise!
Critics literally rave:
“I wouldn’t be caught dead without mine!”
“Being judged can wait. I have to find out what’s behind that next damn seal!”
“Finally, something that makes reading the news more fun!”
“After I finish opening all the seals I’m going to Disneyland!”
The artwork on this limited edition collectible is legendary and sure to cast the right mood for that end-of-days spirit.
Makes a great gift for young collectors who want to have fun while learning about how they’ll be spending the rest of eternity.
Don’t miss your opportunity to acquire all of the special art panels and expansion packs in the first Advent Calendar of the Seven Seals issued to date by Shouts from the Abyss. This piece showcases the finest craftsmanship ever struck by the Abyss honoring all of the seven seals. Each calendar guaranteed to be in brilliant uncirculated condition, richly layered and sealed inside a clear, protective capsule with with privately applied hologram Abyss security seal.
- FREE custom-designed cherrywood-finish display case.
- Each Advent Calendar of the Seven Seals will be accompanied by a specially prepared reference card.
- Informative “Hidden Treasures Around You” booklet. Finding valuable apocalypse signs in everyday places.
- Each Advent Calendar of the Seven Seals is a Limited Edition, minted for just 90 days.
- More than a priceless value – save over infinite dollars!
- Genuine “seal” of authenticity (that’s a little Abyss joke, get it?)
Historical accuracy is guaranteed and includes all seven seals:
- First
- Second
- Third
- Fourth
- Fifth
- Sixth
- Seventh
- Asian Radiation
- The Palin Presidency
- Water Shortage
- The Next Great Flood
- Genetically-altered corn
- and much much more!
You can bet your soul you’ll want this one. Act fast while supplies last… and before the sun turns black and the moon turns red.
Se7en blogging legalities
This post is brought to you by the number seven. Here are the "Original Seven" Mercury astronauts. From left: Scott Carpenter, Gordon Cooper, John Glenn, Gus Grissom, Wally Schirra, Alan Shepard, and Deke Slayton. Photo credit: NASA. Click for larger image.
Disclaimer: This post is made to satisfy statutory requirements under the Blogger Legal Obligations With Meritorious Excellence, Sub Chapter 1, Section 7734, Article 42.666.
On Feb. 21, 2010, I received two awards from the most excellent Teri’s Blip in the Universe blog.
As a recipient of the Kreativ Blogger Award I’m bound by the following rules:
1. Thank the person who awarded me the award, and link that person’s blog on my blog.
2. Identify seven things about myself.
3. Award seven bloggers with the “Kreativ Blogger Award,” post links to their blogs, and leave a comment on each of their blogs, to let them know of the honor.
As a recipient of the Sunshine Award I am required to “pass it on to a bunch of other bloggers.” For the sake of simplicity I’m going to assume this means seven, too.
On a side note, I also explored the concept of exponentially passing along awards to seven people, who then do the same thing to seven more blogs each, and so on and so on. Based on my calculations I discovered that the awards are actually a plot to increase the mass of planet Earth to the point that it collapses in on itself and creates a new black hole in our solar system. I estimate this event will happen in about 60 days. Now that will be fun to watch!
Yeah, I know I’m late on this but as you can see I had so many excellent blog ideas that had to be fleshed out first. Ha! Good one. I crack myself up.
Seriously, though, I am quite honored to receive these awards from such a great person and I will gladly pass on these awards.
Responsibility #1 was done immediately on my awards page, the layout of which was ruined by receiving an actual award. The page had been carefully laid out with feng shui in mind with absolutely no thought given to receiving an award which was previously considered impossible. 🙂 Sadly the receiving of an award shattered the carefully sought after balance of the page.
Responsibility #2 is clearly a recipe for disaster, but I seemingly have no choice. Seven things about myself? Hmm. I was going to say stuff like “I’ve never been in outer space” and “I’ve never earned a gold medal in the Olympics” and “I’ve never won a Nobel peace prize,” but somehow that felt like cheating and going against the spirit of the awards. Believe me when I say I’m just as uncomfortable with this rule as you are! So here goes:
- My first kiss happened at church camp with a person who went by the name of Tex. Yep, pardner. You heard that right. We literally never saw Tex without a cowboy hat made of straw, which I imagine is where the nickname came from. Young people are clever that way. Tex and I were like peas and carrots and one day Tex just grabbed me, pulled me into the bushes and planted one right on the kisser. It’s hard to imagine a better first kiss. And, oh yeah, almost forgot – Tex was a girl. 🙂
- I’m a certified open-water scuba driver. Did you know scuba stands for Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus? Anyway, my dad was a very active scuba diver and I had my own 10-minute air tank from the time I was a wee child. I would scuba in nearby lakes and rivers when I was a kid. I’ve also dived in oceans off two different countries.
- Once I passed out on the dance floor of Hussong’s Cantina in Ensenada, Mexico, after drinking too many off their powerful margaritas. It is still unknown if I survived that night or not.
- In seventh grade I opted for “Home Economics” rather than “shop.” I was making and eating chocolate chip cookies in a class where I was the only male while all of the rest of the seventh grade males made electric lamps out of wood blocks. Being the only boy in a class full of girls is the only way to go. I guess I did have some smarts when I was a lad.
- I played trombone in elementary school and went on to concert band, stage band and marching band in high school. A month before a statewide solo competition I broke my hand and quickly had to learn the baritone (which is a valve instrument much like a small tuba). I went on to the statewide competition on my new instrument and received the highest possible score (superior) for the performance of my solo with piano accompaniment.
- In high school I aced the final exam in “elementary radioactivity.” The teacher said I was the first student in the history of the school to ace the exam and then accused me of cheating.
- The books I’ve reread the most are, by far, “The Hunt for Red October” by Tom Clancy and “Dune” by Frank Herbert.
To break up the enormity of this task, the outgoing awards will be issued in the weeks ahead in separate posts as time permits. Be on your best behavior or I may pick you. Mwuhahaha!
Se7en blog awards
I’m sure a question like this will sound extremely familiar to a lot of people who have been around the block a time or two.
If you were offered $1 million dollars or a penny doubled every day for a month (30 days), which would you choose?
The $1 million might sound like the best deal, but it’s not.
On day 1 you’d have a penny. On day 2 you’d have two pennies. Day 3 would be a whopping four cents. And it turns out that by day ten you’d have $5.12.
After that, however, things quickly begin to change.
Day 15 would be $163.84.
Day 20 would be $5,242.88.
On Day 28 something extremely interesting happens. You’d have $1,342,177.28, which is $340 thousand more than $1 million dollars.
On Day 30 you’d finally be done and you’d have over $5 million dollars. $5,368,709.12 to be exact. If you chose the sneaky penny doubling deal you’d end up approx. 5 times as happy. 🙂
Now all you have to do is sit around and wait for someone to offer you that deal.
I think a lot of us have probably heard some variation of this sort of thing before. The point is not subtle: Things that grow exponentially can get big very quickly.
I recently won a blog award and that got me thinking about this sort of thing. You see, the blog award has a rule that as a recipient of the award, you are asked to pass the award along to seven more bloggers.
See where I’m going yet? This is the exact same math problem, only instead of doubling per day it grows by seven times per interval.
Some assumptions we’ll make: The award will be passed on weekly to seven people. The following week each recipient will then pass the award on to seven more people. And so on and so on and so on. To keep things simple we’ll also make a rule that no one can receive the award more than once.
Week One starts with you and your award. Let’s assume you’re the first. Perhaps you invented the award and this silly little “chain letter” ruling in the first place! 🙂
Week Two you give the award to seven awesome peeps you know.
Week Three those seven people pass along the award to seven more people. That is 7 x 7 which means 49 people now have the award.
On Week Four those 49 people each give out 7 more awards. That is 49 x 7 or 343 people.
By Week Nine it would be about 9 million blogs.
Week 11 would be about 282 million blogs. It is interesting to note that as of Feb. 2010 WordPress estimated there were about 22 million blogs using WordPress software. That includes those hosted on WordPress.com and stand-alone software installations on other web servers.
Week 12 would be about 2 billion blogs. Week 13 approaches 14 billion blogs, which almost twice the people on planet earth. Week 14 is about 97 billion blogs. By Week 16 there would be about 5 trillion blogs to receive the award.
Going any further is just too darn silly, but I can tell you that by Week 30 the exact number of blog award winners under this scenario would be:
22,539,340,290,692,300,000,000,000
That’s a number so big I don’t even know how to describe it. My best guess would be 22,539 trillion trillion. Another way might be to say 22.5 septillion blogs. (A septillion is a 1 followed by 24 zeros.) For comparison it is estimated that the Death Star would have cost about $15.6 septillion. That’s about 1.4 trillion times the U.S. national debt. Meh.
I can say this much, though, with 100 percent certainty. Some people have clearly not been fulfilling their obligations to forward these “pass it on” type awards like they are supposed to! 🙂
Shouts from the Abyss 
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