When You Wish Upon A Star Wars
Once upon a time I decided to live tweet/microblog the storm of the century.
I’m talking about, of course, the acquisition of Lucasfilm (including the Star Wars franchise) by Disney. Weather phenomena are dwarfed in significance by the galactic magnitude of this event.
Let the news be spread far and wide, all the way to the Outer Rim systems. (Some of you will get this joke.)
Today’s regularly scheduled post has been cancelled so I can bring you continuing coverage of this breaking arm-slicing news.
By the time you read this post, workers will have pulled down the “Skywalker Ranch” sign and replaced it with “Mickey Mouse Ranch.” It doesn’t have quite the same ring, does it? And the statue of Yoda in the courtyard will have been replaced by Jiminy Cricket. Such is the way of things. One philosopher gets traded in for another. Such is the way of The Force.
Disney imagineers are already hard at work to bring more fire scenes to the continuing saga of the Star Wars and, most likely, a few hidden references to “sex” for those freeze-frame fanatics willing to find them. You can’t imagine how good it feels to find an animator’s easter egg hidden in a Disney film. And for most of these egg hunters it’s the one and only time they’ll ever find “sex.” Ha ha ha.
Enough talk! More tweets. I’ve been looking forward to having you for dinner.
–Darth Vader to Sebastian the Crab
Without further ado, bring on the tweets!
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May the Fourth be with you
Lightsaber chopsticks will tame that tough piece of meat!
Today is “Star Wars Day.” May 4th. Get it? Hardy har har.
Tonight at 6pm Pacific Time there will be an announcement of intergalactic proportions. It has been a tightly guarded secret and there’s even a web site with a countdown clock to the event:
Why wait? I don’t want to spoil all the fun but I can explain what’s all about right now. It’s just another veritable benefit of being a reader of this blog.
A few months ago George Lucas clenched his butt cheeks and an idea was born. “What if,” he said, “there was a way for those idiots [fans] to buy even more copies of the movies they’ve already owned many times over??? Hell, I’d make a lot more money.”
The announcement tonight will be:
Star Wars: The Complete Saga Blu-ray box set
Retail price: $129.95 USD.
Wow. Really? This is almost as good as the time LeBron James thought it would be a good idea to make a prime-time TV show based on the premise: Should I shit on my loyal fans? (Spoiler alert: He did.) I’ll never forget the announcer who sounded just like Russ Hodges (of “the Giants win the pennant” fame) on that live broadcast: He went for the money! He went for the money!
So George Lucas has decided to suckle on the teat of consumption and this is supposed to be big “news.”
I had high hopes for a pay-per-view event where we see him thrown into a trash compactor but, alas, it is not mean to be.
Remember, you heard it here first!
UPDATE: Now with more video goodness. The tale of George Lucas in college…
Link to video
Shouts from the Abyss 
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