Resignates Man
“Are you not intertwined?” shouted the gladiator. Then, almost as an afterthought, he added, “What we do at our job resignates in eternity.”
Yeah, it does feel that way sometimes. Luckily my craft doesn’t rely too heavily on proper grammar and fancy so-called “dictionary” words. Hey, just like my blog.
Yes, I’ve called this mandatory staff meeting to discuss resignation origami. (See inset picture.) In the spirit of multitasking this is also my ode to the Pope. To ensure professionalism at all times I hired Phil Mickelson as a consultant.
My research indicates that when it comes to quitting a job there are a few factors that are (allegedly) paramount:
- Give two weeks notice, more if possible
- Don’t burn your bridges
- Write a letter of resignation
- Be respectful
- Be diplomatic
- Be tactful
- Stay professional
- Offer to help
In other words, try to hold yourself to a standard higher than your employer ever showed you. Shit always flows downhill. Apparently, when quitting, the reverse is also true. Gold nuggets are supposed to defy gravity.
Ugh.
But, even so, behold the awesome power of a properly wielded Letter of Resignation (LoR) which automatically confers +7 intelligence and enhanced saving rolls.
More of my observations on this bit of arcane power will magically appear after the jump.
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Survivor: Abyss Island – Day 36 Immunity Challenge
Life force snuffed out. Ouchies.
Abyss Island: S1E12 – A Good Day To Cry Hard
And so it comes down to this. Day 36 and only three days to go. I figured my next challenge was going to be for a brand new car! Okay, so I was only slightly off on that score.
With the end of the tunnel now in sight, Survivors have to remain cognizant that challenge difficulty is going to be ramped up. This is where the best of the best truly shine and the people like me go home empty handed.
Tree mail, like always, sounded the just right ominous tone:
At first you won’t be able to see
You won’t think it’s fair, but it is to meNext you will find it puzzling to see
But the picture will be clear to meGet it together for all to see
If you lose you will have to submit to me
Oh, great. A blindfold challenge and a puzzle. All the best elements of Survivor. Not. This does not bode well for me. Am I mistaken or does the word “submit” ring out just like the creep duh-duh music from the movie Jaws?
To top it off my wife spent all day taunting me. “Are you practicing, Tom? Big challenge tonight.” Practicing what? Being blindfolded? And how does one practice for a freaking puzzle, smart ass?
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Survivor: Abyss Island – Day 12 Reward Challenge
I just wet myself.
Be sure to take this post with a grain of salt. I know I will.
What can I say about the Abyss Island Survivor journey as of Day 12? Variety is the spice of life and I’m damn short on variety.
Nothing but plain white rice, red beans, and fruit. Let me emphasize the word “plain.” That means no spices. No soy sauce. No pepper. Not even a single grain of salt. You ever eaten totally plain beans and rice before? The word bland can’t do justice experience. 1. Put the nutrient matter in mouth. 2. Masticate. 3. Swallow. 4. Repeat.
For fun I punched my daily diet into the computer. It said I was reaching 5 mg of my recommended daily allowance of 1,500 mg of sodium. Hells, yeah, I’m now a real Survivor!
Then came another one of those damned clever pieces of tree mail from my Probst baby. Reward challenge #2 was eminent and it cryptically hinted at the tantalizing possibilities:
Now you see it
Now you don’t
Oh there it is
Oh no it’s not
Think real hard
Think real fastIt’s what you’ve been wanting
If you lose it’ll be most haunting
Unlike previous tree mails, this one I studied carefully for hints. I suspected some sort of memory challenge was afoot.
The phrase “what you’ve been wanting” was dizzying. What had I been bitching about the most? Spices. What that just a hint of sodium in the air?
I could sense the winds of change were heading my way.
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Survivor: Abyss Island – Day 8 Immunity Challenge
A local landmark known as The Chair including lurking dangerous wild beast.
The day before the challenge, on Day 7, I found a small tomato in tree mail. It was about the size of a handball. A gift from the Survivor gods. I cooked it with rice for my evening meal. It is the only thing to break up the monotony of rice, beans and fruit since this thing started. Whoa. A dash of flavor! What a concept!
On Saturday, Day 8, I faced down my first immunity challenge. Toting my torch, tribal flag, and sporting my buff, I departed camp for the appointed place at the appointed time. The living room. Whew. What a hike.
I was feeling no small amount of trepidation due to the humiliating drubbing I’d suffered at the previous reward challenge which was still very much fresh in my mind. Also, I had yet to find the hidden immunity idol so I was feeling at risk. Even in spite of being provided with a very illuminating clue: “It’s somewhere on Earth.” Yeah, that’s helpful. At least it saves me the bother of searching Uranus.
According to the official rules of Survivor: Abyss Island if I won the immunity challenge I’d take home the immunity idol and be safe for another week. If I lost I’d go immediately to tribal council where I’d be bullied and badgered by the host prior to something known as “sentencing.” Knowing my wife that had a very ominous ring to it.
I arrived at the challenge to find my Probst wife standing next a chair covered in a confusing web of rope. Dammit, she is a student of the game.
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Shouts from the Abyss 
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