Tag Archives: romantic

Elvis lyrics translated into English

By Tom B. Taker on | 15 Comments
The sperm about to penetrate the ovum.

The lucky sperm about to penetrate the ovum.

I have decided, as a pubic service, to run some Elvis Presley lyrics through the universal translator. I hope you enjoy these as if hearing them for the first time.

Doubt my qualifications? Don’t. I was literally married under a velvet painting of Elvis in the Graceland Wedding Chapel, Las Vegas, Nevada. (But not to my wife, mind you.) I’m qualified enough.

Now bring on the big romantic ballads…

It’s Now Or Never

It’s now or never
(Daddy is in the mood)
Come hold me tight
(I will direct the action)
Kiss me my darling
(This had better be good)
Be mine tonight
(This will decidedly not be a long-term relationship)
Tomorrow will be too late
(Parts of me are feeling blue)
It’s now or never
(No promises after the booze wears off)
My love won’t wait
(There’s a BP situation in my pants)

Wasn’t that fun? Are you feeling all romantic? Make the jump and let’s do one more.
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Walk On By

By Tom B. Taker on | Leave a comment

You didn’t walk on by this post? You pervert.

So, yeah, Hal David recently passed away. It was on Sept. 1, 2012. I was on another WordPress blog and they were discussing his passing and that he had written many hit songs with Burt Bacharach including Walk On By. I added to the discussion and said that I was pretty sure I had mentioned that particular song on my blog in the past.

It turns out I was wrong. There are apparently at least two different songs that share that same name. Who knew? And I was remembering the other one. Of course.

You know the one, right? It was co-written by Tiger Woods, Bill Clinton, Brett Favre, and Anthony Weiner, et al. It’s a romantic little ditty about a fellow walking down the street with his new girl. Along the way he spies his former lover that he’s still in love with and he gets a touching idea. Why not have his cake and eat it, too? Keep it a secret, but give the old flame the signal that his fire still burns. In other words, he’s ready for a little nookie on the side.

Brilliant!
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