Dear Guru: Winning Easter Eggs
How will my child perform during this year’s Easter egg hunt? How can I guarantee The Win?
P.S. Oh yeah. Almost forgot… Praise Jesus!
What astute questions! Rest easy. You have come to the right place. Clearly if anyone ever deserved The Win it is your precocious child. Something is cracked and/or smells around here and it’s not just the eggs.
The answer, of course, depends on a complex variety of factors including your child’s gifts, level of motivation, and unfortunately, no small amount of luck. With proper planning, however, the nefarious element of random chance can be minimized.
What I mean to say is, just how far are you and your child willing to go? How badly do you really want those coveted eggs?
V is for Vexting
There I was, laying in bed this morning, and minding my own business. Suddenly a shot rang out.
Oh, wait. No, scratch that. Sorry, I got a little too carried away there for a moment.
I was laying in bed and thinking ahead to this very post. What was I going to do with the letter “V” in the A-Z Blogger Challenge? In my mind I arranged different vowels after “V” and let different V-words come to mind. Eventually I settled on the word “vex.” Yes, I thought, mostly to myself. I can probably do something with “vex.” And then: discovery! I invented the word “vexting.”
Or so I thought.
Curse you, internets!
I fired up Google and punched it in. And there it was, on the Urban Dictionary, circa Dec. 16, 2009. Holy shit.
Why can’t any of my inventions ever be original? We’ve all got our special gifts, talents, and God-given abilities, right? Mine seems to be inventing things that already exist. A talent like that is a curiosity, a mere trifle. It doesn’t seem to do much when it comes to lavishing power and riches on yours truly.
By now, though, that’s something I’ve mostly accepted and adjusted to.
Vexting was gonna be another word in my so-called “demotivational dictionary.” It was gonna be something.
vexting – the act of making others angry while texting
Ex: “Did you see that son of a bitch? He was vexting all over the sidewalk – while pushing a baby in a stroller! That makes me sick!”
Well, you heard it here second, folks, and from a classic all-American duplicate. [dialing] “Hello, Universe? Yes, this is the little speck of an Earthling known as Tom. I’ll take another participant ribbon, please. Thanks.” [click]
I apologize. My treatment of the letter “V” in this challenge has been deplorable. I will therefore have to provide a bonus entry to try to salvage the situation.
Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn?
Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn
Remember how she said that
We would meet again
Some sunny day
What has become of you
Does anybody else in here
Feel the way I do?
Dame Vera Lynn, DBE (born Vera Margaret Welch on 20 March 1917) is an English singer and actress whose musical recordings and performances were enormously popular during World War II. During the war she toured Egypt, India and Burma, giving outdoor concerts for the troops. She was called “The Forces’ Sweetheart”; the songs most associated with her are “We’ll Meet Again” and “The White Cliffs of Dover”. She remained popular after the war, appearing on radio and television in the UK and the United States and recording such hits as “Auf Wiederseh’n Sweetheart” and “My Son, My Son”. In 2009 she became the oldest living artist to make it to No. 1 on the British album chart, at the age of 92. She has devoted much time and energy to charity work connected with ex-servicemen, disabled children and breast cancer. She is still held in great affection by veterans of the Second World War and in 2000 was named the Briton who best exemplified the spirit of the twentieth century.
She’s still alive, too. 94 years old and still going. Wow.
This is my “V” post for the April 2011 “A to Z Blogging Challenge.”
2010 in review courtesy of the WordPress fairy
My inbox was visited this morning by the WordPress fairy who brought the following bits of good news. As far as I know, I’ve never once in my entire life been rated as “wow,” so that feels pretty good. I can’t help but wonder if everyone got that same rating, though. If so, then this merely represents yet another “participant” ribbon to add to my already impressive collection. –Tom
The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:
The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.
About 3 million people visit the Taj Mahal every year. This blog was viewed about 29,000 times in 2010. If it were the Taj Mahal, it would take about 4 days for that many people to see it.
In 2010, there were 516 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 694 posts. There were 489 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 19mb. That’s about 1 pictures per day.
The busiest day of the year was September 9th with 4,115 views. The most popular post that day was The Tuesday employee whiteboard.
Where did they come from?
The top referring sites in 2010 were reddit.com, WordPress Dashboard, wordpress.com, google.com, and melcarroll.blogspot.com.
Some visitors came searching, mostly for angry songs, misery motorsports, sideways 2, top angry songs, and best angry songs.
Attractions in 2010
These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.
The Tuesday employee whiteboard September 2010
11 comments and 1 Like on WordPress.com
My list of top five angry songs January 2010
A crash and a mob August 2010
20 comments and 1 Like on WordPress.com
Sideways 2 – Merlot Strikes Back May 2010
Ancestry.com can eat my ass March 2010