Lost Works of Dr. Seuss – Excerpt
Lost works of Dr. Seuss have been popping up madly. I searched my attic and found one about neighbors acting badly. I don’t own the rights so I won’t be a millionaire. But on my blog under “fair use” claims I figured I would share.
Enjoy.
The Butthole Battle Book – Death to a Neighbor
Here’s a little story about a creature I abhor
A freak of nature who’s my closest neighbor
How To Get Away With Turder
At family gatherings we sort of take turns doing the cooking. In a nutshell, this basically means my wife does most of everything. When it comes to the kitchen she’s all about the get ‘er done.
I’m already thinking ahead to next Christmas and that I’ll likely make a dish. Perhaps something that I can’t pronounce like bolognese. Meat is definitely a requirement.
What happens when you try to come up with a menu to appease seven human beings, each with differing dietary restrictions, penchants, picadillos, likes, dislikes, preferences, predilections, disinclinations, propensities, and predispositions?
Answer: Exponential permutations.
Good news. It looks like we’ll only need 128 different dishes to satisfy everyone.
Bridges and Icebergs
This right here is payback from way back I don’t play that
This right here is payback from way back I don’t play that
This right here is payback from way back I don’t play that
This right here is payback from way back I don’t play that
Recognize a real dime
When you see mine
And don’t try to be one
You fuckin peon
I been like Deion for eons
You ain’t nuttin but a biotch
Messed around and let me read up
I come back through and tear the street up
What did Chris Christie know and when did he know it? Did he order the code red? Can we handle the truth?
This post will explore none of those questions.
A recent poll found that 42 percent of Americans believe Christie has been telling the truth about “Bridgegate” and 44 percent believe he is not. The poll had a margin of error of about 3.5 percent. In other words, we’re not sure.
That makes sense because only those who know really know. For the rest of us, it’s just conjecture and opinion.
But, perhaps, will can still draw some conclusions. Let’s try.
For instance, let’s say we lift up a rock and see a potato bug. A single, solitary wiggly potato bug on freshly exposed earth who suddenly feels very unsure of his status in the universe. What can we make of this?
Is he the only one? Might there be more, perhaps if we lift more rocks? Which is the simplest explanation?
I submit that the simplest explanation is that where there is one it is likely there are more. The alternative is that what you see is a one-time-only occurrence which, although possible, may not be the most probable possibility.
If this line of reasoning holds water, then perhaps our inquisitiveness about things like Bridgegate should explore a totally different direction.
In other words, what if Bridgegate is just the tip of the iceberg?
Continue reading →
Regurgitated: Chip Clip
More big changes afoot here on the blog. Sundays will now be the official day of regurgitation here in The Abyss. Why have I been building this vast library of content if I don’t get to use it? Thus I will celebrate this treasure trove I have built by delving into the past and cherry picking a long lost gems to see the light of day one more time.
Up first, by request, is a piece entitled Chip Clip: The power to fuck you circa Oct. 11, 2009.
If you’ve ever purchased a product and had it fail during the very first use then you’ll know what I’m talking about. Like a brand new flashlight that breaks on the very first click that never works again. My humble post is an ode to lives never lived. In the unpublished sequel The Lorax and me team up to hunt the manufacturers of Once-ler products wielding axes and chainsaws. Spoiler alert: We never stop at just one.
Now, without further ado, I give you our regurgitated post of the week. Roll the crap. Hopefully the link below won’t break when you click it.
Shouts from the Abyss 
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