Portland Restaurant Waiting Guide
Next up, on Iron Skillet Chef America our celebrity judge feels he’s entitled to share his opinions. Alloy cuisine!!! –Ed.
As a proud “native Oregonian” I’ve lived in Portland, on and off, since 1981. I’ve been to a few places to eat along the way. From food carts to neighborhood pub n’ grubs to world class cuisine, Portland has a veritable plethora of long waiting lines guaranteed to satisfy most any connoisseur of the latest trendy thing.
Voodoo Doughnut? I’ve never been. The line has always been too damn long. Who has that kind of time for a doughnut with bacon on it? My trick? Go to two different places, grab a doughnut from a regular place and a side of bacon from a diner. Voila! I call that Voodoo without the wait. When you’re downtown you’ll people toting around with their little pink boxes of Voodoo doughnuts as if to say, “Look at me! I did the wait!” Pro Tip: That pink box goes really well with plaid.
Diner At Eats
Good news. By clicking to read this post an 18% gratuity has already been added to your bill.
Don’t worry. We still provide a space for “tip” that allows you to recognize unparalleled service. You don’t normally review your charges, do you? Have you tipped 20% on top of an 18% gratuity lately? Trust me. It’s fun.
I survive on your tips. The lion’s share of the profits go to management. Luckily, though, my proceeds are not subject to “protection” charges by the blogosphere syndicate. I haven’t been syndicated. At least not yet. Won’t you help pay my way through college?
A local restaurant just closed. The “chef” had her parents invest lots of their own money which I can only assume has now vaporized. The building is shuttered and construction workers have brought in scaffolding and are tearing things apart.
The food had a reputation for being quite good but the portions were notoriously tiny. The prices were though the roof and the place was easily one of the most expensive in town. The restaurant never seemed to do anything about bad service though the stories were the stuff of legend and spread like wildfire through our small town.
I heard the chef had an explanation for her failed enterprise. “The community just didn’t support us.” Yeah, I’m sure she’ll be successful wherever she lands.
After doing Saturday morning computer work for a friend, I was “paid” with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for this very same restaurant. Hell, that probably makes it my fault they closed just a few days later. Whatever. Yet another guru freebie and without gratuity, to boot! I guess I should frame that coupon and hang it on my wall to remind me of how the world works.
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Taking more nibbles at giving
OK it has been a couple days so it’s time for an update on this whole “giving” thing.
I’ve been close to throwing in the towel because it is so hard to think of something to give every … single … day. But, as of now, I’m still hanging in there by the skin of my teeth. However, I reserve the right to Palin this task at any time. 🙂
Here is an update on how I handled the 2nd and 3rd days of the month.
I have started a humble canned food drive in my home town. Nothing major, but we’ll see what we can bring in for the local food bank. I’ll be working on this the rest of the month.
Also in my home town, I decided to do something to support a local restaurant. The weakened economy has hit our local restaurants hard and several good places have closed, including some of my personal favorites. I think that when discretionary funds get squeezed in the budget by an economy like this, eating out must be one of the first things to take a hit. So I selected one of my favorite local restaurants at random and fired up my Photoshop and made them a web banner. I then arranged for that advertising to be shown on a popular local web site at no charge. Hopefully they will like my creativity on their banner and it send them much-needed business.
Now all I have to do is think up something to give for today. I can’t handle the pressure! Argh! 🙂