Tag Archives: quiz

Thwart Deform

I'll shop here just because they have a certain ganache.

I’ll shop here just because they have a certain ganache.

This post contains my patented Tort Reform Quiz For Dummies. At last you can find out if you support tort reform or not! You’ll find the short quiz after the introductory crap. Wade on!

POW!

The punch landed bone-jarringly hard and the boxer in the red trunks suddenly ate canvas, a little puddle of drool forming quickly under his bloodied face. The referee counted it down then, with so sign of movement, called the fight. It was a knockout!

The blue corner jumped up and down ecstatically. “Way to go, champ! Way to go!”

The red corner carried their fighter back to their corner, balanced his lifeless body on his stool, and also began jumping up and down. “Wow, what a fight! You took ’em to the cleaners, champ! You really flayed ’em!”

Erm, what? Meanwhile the monkeys are flying in from the East chanting, “Oh wee oh! Oh wee oh!”

Such is the way of politics these days. Is my example a little extreme? Perhaps, but sadly not by much.
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Choke Hold – The Game Show

choke-hold-1We’re back from vacation and apologize for being behind on responding to comments and stuff. We’re going to have to play a little catch up. In the meantime, we can kill a minute or two playing a new game show I invented.

Boss Or Artichoke? The Game Show – You Make The Call!

The game couldn’t be easier. We’ll provide a clue and all you have to do is answer “boss” or “artichoke.” It’s just that simple.

If you lose you’ll get a delicious treat as a parting gift. If you win, you’ll get a delicious beat down for 40 hours a week for the rest of your life.

Worth playing for?

Round One

Clue: Be careful – This can prick you!

Boss or Artichoke?

See? Wasn’t that easy? This isn’t so bad. Now we move on the bonus round where things can really happen.

Round Two

Clue: Large globes, inedible beard, thorny stem.

Boss or Artichoke?

The difficulty has increased but so has the fun. Are you ready for the final round of sudden death? Let’s go!

Round Three

Clue: You want to cut out the heart, dip it in a little mayonnaise and eat it raw.

Boss or Artichoke?

Remember, it’s not whether you win or lose – it’s how you play the game. If you didn’t get artichoke this time, don’t worry. There’s always tomorrow.

Better luck next time!

choke-hold-2

Survivor: Abyss Island – Day 20 Reward Challenge

Baby, do I look nerdy in this?

Baby, do I look nerdy in this?

Abyss Island: S1E7 – Set Phasers on Food / The Trouble With Kibbles

My wife named this challenge: “Star Trek or Star Wife”

I strolled into the challenge sportin’ my official tribe buff and hoisting the toilet plunger the proudly bears the ZeitGuru team flag. I was feeling cocky and confident. After all, I was batting .750. I had won three challenges in a row (after losing that initial house of cards travesty of justice). I’m on a win streak. What could possibly go wrong?

Rumor had it that this reward was going to be one “worth playing for” and I was more than ready. My tummy was in a twitter of anticipation. It growled ominously like a Rigellian ox as I stepped in and assumed my station on the pad.

“Energize.”

“Belay that order, mister! We’ve got a challenge to finish and Starfleet ain’t yella.”

As usual, the Priority One communiqué from the Federation only served to muddle my mind. I took it in my ready room on a secure channel:

To boldly go where no man has gone before
To know your wife and make the score.

James, Spock, Scotty and George Takei
If you’re not careful you’ll make your wife cry.

Outer space is where you’ll do well.
Upsetting your wife…
You’ll wish you lived in Hell.

Obviously I was going to be quizzed on my knowledge of my wife, like some variation of the Newlywed Game. But how in the hell would Star Trek fit into this? Dammit, man, I’m a negativist philosopher, not a doctor!

Leave it to my wife to up the stakes. I found myself in the Neutral Zone with a lot more than a meal to worry about. Failure in this challenge could mean the end of the Organian Marital Peace Treaty itself.

Fiendishly clever.
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