Quantum of Grimace: Abyss 2012 Christmas Gift Guide
Back after a one-year hiatus it’s the Shouts From The Abyss 2012 Christmas Gift Giving Guide! I know you’ve all been waiting with baited breath to see what’s at the top of my list so let’s dive right in. Is that okay with you, Sugarplum?
I promise it’ll be more fun than a black hole.
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Apple gets Cook’d
Holy shit. White is thin.
This week there was an Apple “launch event” with new CEO Tim Cook at the helm. Weather conditions were perfect and the launch went off without a hitch. The iPhone 4S is now safely in orbit at 347 miles above the surface of the Earth and traveling at a speed of 25,000 feet per second.
The iPhone must already be running HangTime, the best iPhone app ever made. Bar none.
Commander Tim Cook went solo on this mission and the world was ready to eviscerate his bowels based on the fact (not speculation) that he isn’t Steve Jobs.
So, aside from his product safely achieving low Earth orbit – how did it go?
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Wheat the Thin People
I think the progression of human civilization has gone a little something like this:
Stone Age ~ Copper Age ~ Bronze Age ~ Iron Age ~ Industrial Revolution ~ Atomic Age ~ Space Age ~ Information Age
But what comes after the Information Age?
I think I have figured that out. It’s the pinnacle of human achievement, at least until the Nano Age gets here.
I’m talking about, of course, the Wheat Thins Age.
Once a civilization has achieved a sufficient number of varieties of Wheat Thins, then you know they really got their shit going on. Oh, snap!
There isn’t a precise science to calculating when the Wheat Thins Age has been reached, but I think it’s about ten. Let’s see how many we can find. Continue reading →
Shouts from the Abyss 
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