¡ Yo Fear-O Taco Bell !
I am not a foodie. (If you have to paint me in a box go with trekkie.) I know I’ve written about food a lot lately. It’s just this naive bleef that we have a right to know what we eat. And that increasingly the people who make food are seemingly at cross-purposes to that deceptively simple objective. (And sometimes cross-porpoises but that’s another story.)
Take Taco Bell, for example. (Figuratively, not literally, I hope.) A while back there was a hubbub that Taco Bell’s “seasoned beef” was rumored to be 35% beef and 65% other stuff. (Taco Bell eschews the word “filler.”)
Well, Taco Bell wants you to know the truth. They are proud to announced that their “seasoned beef” product is a whopping 88% beef and only 12% other stuff.
Forget about the daily grind, it’s time for an afternoon party! 88% is pretty damn good! Hot mess good. If only we could achieve that standard for everything in life.
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Regurgitated: Chip Clip
More big changes afoot here on the blog. Sundays will now be the official day of regurgitation here in The Abyss. Why have I been building this vast library of content if I don’t get to use it? Thus I will celebrate this treasure trove I have built by delving into the past and cherry picking a long lost gems to see the light of day one more time.
Up first, by request, is a piece entitled Chip Clip: The power to fuck you circa Oct. 11, 2009.
If you’ve ever purchased a product and had it fail during the very first use then you’ll know what I’m talking about. Like a brand new flashlight that breaks on the very first click that never works again. My humble post is an ode to lives never lived. In the unpublished sequel The Lorax and me team up to hunt the manufacturers of Once-ler products wielding axes and chainsaws. Spoiler alert: We never stop at just one.
Now, without further ado, I give you our regurgitated post of the week. Roll the crap. Hopefully the link below won’t break when you click it.
All You Can Meat
What happened in Vegas didn’t stay in Vegas. It got pooped out in my home town…
I know this guy. And no, just this once, that isn’t code for talking about myself. Let us call him Pete.
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Today’s quickie questions of the day:
Have you ever called in for customer service and been subjected to the automated system and not been told “please listen carefully – our menu has recently changed?” Due to overuse that phrase has absolutely no meaning.
More importantly, have you ever been told that your call may be “monitored or recorded” for the biggest bullshit reason of all time, “quality assurance?”
Here’s what I really want to know. Have you ever thought to say, “I prefer not to be recorded?”
Have you ever attempted this? And if so, how did it go?
First of all, “quality assurance?” What a line of bull. They are not going to invest in a recording system and everything that entails because they care about the quality of “service” they are providing to you. The reason is simple: To cover their ass and provide documentation that could be used against you further down the road if any sort of dispute should ever come up.
I have an idea. How about I record everything on my end, too. “Hey, Julio. That’s for taking the time to talk to me today about my account. Just an FYI, bro. This call may be monitored and/or recorded for quality assurance. Since you’re already doing that to me I’m sure your company will have no problem with that, right?”
So, have you ever tried to opt-out of being recorded? I have. The poor sap on the other end of the phone could not have been more confused or befuddled. His scripts obviously didn’t cover that sort of unforseen scenario. A customer not wanting to be recorded? Horrors!
If you’ve ever attempted to not be recorded, please reply and let me know how it went. I’d really, really like to know. This could be interesting. Thanks!