Tag Archives: profits

Guru Comic: Good Business

guru-slippery

BlogFestivus: Tortuga

This story is the fifth and final installment themed “Tiny Tim” in a five-part series of 200-word stories for BlogFestivus, A Christmas Carol. Check out the links (at the bottom of this post) to all the participating “ghost” writers for this year’s challenge. We’re spanking the candy cane now. -BD

happy-fill-in-the-blank blogfestivusTortuga
by Tom B. Taker

At the end of the room loomed a high-backed chair facing a large round window. The smell of mistletoe hung in the air. An end table was nearby upon which sat a glass of eggnog and a bouquet of red and white tulips.

Ominous symphonic music began to fill the air as the chair imperceptibly swiveled. It took a long time, but the occupant, finally, was revealed. He lounged, his wee feet extending just beyond the seat, his arms extended and resting on the arms of the chair. Atop a tiny head a festive pork pie hat had been donned.

chamber“Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen,” he cackled.

“You!” shouted Scrooge.

“Yes, me. My production facility is state of the art. Candy canes are running at full capacity. Fruitcakes are ramping up and will soon be the perfect method for delivering your product. You’re out, Scrooge. Out!”

“Wait,” Scrooge stammered. “Dammit, Tim, wait!”

“Give me one good reason why.”

“I’m your father.”

“Noooooooooo!”

Scrooge, sensing a momentary advantage, tiptoed carefully. “My company has developed the black armor. I can still be of value to you.”

Tim smiled.

“Then, together, we shall rule the galaxy as father and son!”

Click on the links below for more takes on A Christmas Carol from our other BlogFestivus bloggers:

Linda penning at linda vernon humor
Steve from Stevil
Maria-Christina blogging at MCWhispers
Dylan of Treatment of Visions
Sarah from Parent Your Business
Dawn blogging at Lingering Visions
K8edid from k8edid
Dave bringing it at 1pointperspective
Eileen from Not The Sword But The Pen
Lindsey at RewindRevise
Kandy of Kandy Talk
Sandra writing at In Love With Words
Natalie from So I Went Undercover
Jen at Blog It or Lose It
Amelie from In the Barberry
Cee Cee blogging at Cee Cee’s Blog
Ashley from LittleWonder2
BD writing Blogdramedy

BlogFestivus: Future Shock

This story is the fourth installment “Ghost of Christmas Future” in a five-part series of 200-word stories for BlogFestivus, A Christmas Carol. Check out the links (at the bottom of this post) to all the participating “ghost” writers for this year’s challenge. I suspect you’re in for some dark, yet jolly, days. -BD

happy-fill-in-the-blank blogfestivusFuture Shock
by Tom B. Taker

They found old man Scrooge by his bed, rocking a chair, wearing his long cotton nightgown. It was the dark of night. He looked up and smiled.

“Welcome,” he said. “I’ve been expecting you.”

The Ghost was aghast. “You, you,” he stuttered. “You can see me?”

He laughed. “Quite so!”

Young Scrooge turned to the Ghost. “Perhaps I can illuminate.”

He gestured around the room. “Actually, I owe it all to you. If you hadn’t warned me about this little jaunt we’d probably be pissing ourselves.”

“Your previous visit made an impression on me, opened a Schrödinger’s box as it were. So I set my people to work on defenses, the means to detect you and more.”

“The purpose of these visits,” the Ghost replied, “was never to bring you harm. In fact, quite the contrary. You…”

pink-slime-beef-ghostbusters“We’ll just see about that,” old Scrooge interrupted.

He took a device from the table and held it in his lap, fiddling with the button. “Not to say that your interference has been all bad. Profits have never been higher.”

“Goodbye,” he said as the button went click.

The Ghost exploded violently into paranormal goo.

“He slimed me,” the Scrooges said in unison.

Click on the links below for more takes on A Christmas Carol from our other BlogFestivus bloggers:

Linda penning at linda vernon humor
Steve from Stevil
Maria-Christina blogging at MCWhispers
Dylan of Treatment of Visions
Sarah from Parent Your Business
Dawn blogging at Lingering Visions
K8edid from k8edid
Dave bringing it at 1pointperspective
Eileen from Not The Sword But The Pen
Lindsey at RewindRevise
Kandy of Kandy Talk
Sandra writing at In Love With Words
Natalie from So I Went Undercover
Jen at Blog It or Lose It
Amelie from In the Barberry
Cee Cee blogging at Cee Cee’s Blog
Ashley from LittleWonder2
BD writing Blogdramedy

Going into Labor

laborFriends, today I read a passage from the Demotivational Dictionary:

labor union: just about the only people on planet Earth who give a flying shit about the plight of the lowly worker.
–Source: not Wikipedia

What is a labor union?

If we think of the employer/employee paradigm as a formula, on one side of the equation we find power, control, the ability to make decisions, have a hand in the company’s fate, profit, dignity, respect, ties to government, legislation, influence, and much, much more.

The labor union is that which stands to protect all that remains on the other side of that equation.

There may be a lot of power-imbalanced relationships in the average person’s life, but the relationship between employer and employee is most likely at the top of that list. Bar none.

Are labor unions perfect? No. Do they have flaws? Yes. After all, they are comprised of flawed human beings just like every other human-based organizational unit on planet Earth. They are, however, just about the last bastion of hope for the average worker who stands opposed in the face of overwhelming injustice and the imbalance of power.

Like my daddy used to say, it’s enough to make me go burlap.
Continue reading →

Haiti: Generosity reduced by three percent

On January 14th The Huffington Post reported that donations made by generous Americans using credit cards to charitable organizations assisting with relief efforts in Haiti were being “skimmed” by credit card companies by three percent.

The Huffington Post said that for every dollar donated about three percent was kept by banks and credit card companies in the form of transaction fees. It was additionally reported that these companies traditionally keep about $250 million from charitable donations annually.

Who knew that profiting from the generosity of others could be so bloody lucrative?

Then, on January 16th, I heard about the issue from MoveOn.org in an email:

But when Americans donate to charity with their credit cards, the credit card companies get rich. In some cases they keep 3% of the donation as a “transaction fee,” even though that’s far more than it costs them to process the donation.

Now the New York Times is reporting that “some” fees are being waived:

After being criticized for siphoning off up to 3 percent of charitable donations for transaction fees, the nation’s largest payment networks — Visa, MasterCard, American Express and Discover — announced that they would waive fees for some contributions aimed at aiding Haiti in the wake of a devastating earthquake.

The New York Times reported that these transaction fees typically range from 1 to 3 percent.

The Huffington Post also reported that only one time before did the credit card companies waive these transaction fees and that was for the tsunami disaster of 2004.

The rest of the time it is apparently business as usual which means profiting from charitable donations.

So the credit card companies said they’ll waive some fees. Who will do what? Let’s find out (per the New York Times):

  • Visa – “would not apply interchange fees, through February, to donations made to a select group of major charities — the names of which were still being compiled — that are providing support to Haitian relief efforts. The company said it would also donate any revenue that was generated by charitable donations related to the Haiti crisis through next month.”
  • Mastercard – “would wave interchange fees on relief donations made using United States-issued MasterCards to the American Red Cross, AmeriCares, Unicef, Save the Children and CARE U.S.A.” The article did not indicate a time frame for this.
  • American Express – “through the end of February, it would rebate the transaction fees for charitable contributions made on its card directly to the nonprofit organizations listed on the Agency for International Development’s Web site in support of Haiti relief.”
  • Discover – “said it was also waiving some fees but did not immediately offer details.”

Wow. What commitment. If that doesn’t warm the cockles of your heart I don’t know what will. Apparently if you contribute to charity outside the bounds of these very narrowly defined exceptions they will still happily gobble up those transaction fee profits. Additionally they appear to be building in time limits on how long they are willing to do this, like a whopping month or two. I guess they figure they’ll do what looks good now in the moment when the public’s eye is focused on them and then go back to normal once this all blows over. It’s true the memory of the American people can be short.

Meanwhile, I’ve lost all “interest” in credit card companies. I already boycott them for financial reasons. Now I have extra incentive. Thanks, evil scum.