Tag Archives: pretentious

Holiday: Coffee Comparisons

coffeeBuying some joe as a last-minute holiday gift for uncle Java? This handy holiday pricing comparison guide may be of value.

Scenario 1:

  • Jungle Booty, one pound bag: $12.00
  • Oils Well That Grounds Well, one pound bag: $9.00

Recommendation: Oils Well is the better value.

Scenario 2:

  • Orbital Scapes, 1 pound bag: $12.00
  • Organic Animal Poops, 12 ounce bag: $12.00
  • Rainforest Tops, 250 grams bag: $12.00

Note: 250 grams equates to approx. 8.81849 ounces. Oh, look! They found another way to say “smaller than 12 ounces.” How very clever.

Ah, this scenario is a bit more tricky. Which is the best value? We better calculate to a standardized unit of measurement like Price Per Pound (PPP). Some retailers are now using a new common unit of measurement (called “the bag”) that they hope you will swallow hook, line and sinker.

Table of Standardized Prices

Orbital Scapes: $12.00 per pound
Organic Animal Poops: $16.00 per pound
Rainforest Canopy: $21.77 per pound (translates loosely as “fuck you”)

Recommendation: Avoid all coffee sold using metric measurements. Evar!

You’re welcome!

The grocery store checkout round up

Alien Adventure Week 14

This story eventually winds its way around to a grocery store.

The other day I received this little nugget in my Inbox:

You may however, make me popcorn later if you’re good to me.
–Email from the Mrs.

It’s nice to have something to look forward to. I was going to be allowed to make popcorn if I behaved well enough. Oh boy!

Someone was hankerin’ for popcorn. On Friday night it didn’t quite work out, but Saturday it finally did. Here’s how it happened.

Saturday morning we woke up and headed out to the country to hit the fresh produce stands. The first stand didn’t have any tomatoes, but the second one did. They were also unloading corn from a truck which had just been filled in the field next door. Four ears of the freshest possible corn for only a buck. Yes!
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