Delta, Science and The Bible
I believe that The Bible is incomplete. Each and every book should have ended with the sentence: “Well played, God. Welllll played.”
I speak from experience since I believe the point of my life has been to add a new chapter. Hint: It’ll be called The Book of Tom and it’ll be inserted right after Job. Howdy, neighbor!
Take today, for example. Seriously. Please take it.
Yesterday I had yakisoba noodles with chicken for lunch. I ate less than I wanted because I was saving it. For today.
I now read from the Book of Tom:
Tom’s Law #42
Look forward to something and you’ll get exactly what you deserve.
I was really looking forward to lunch today. I think we all know this isn’t going to turn out well. Let us prey.
Das Gloat
Obviously those are grapes of wrath.
No, I will not gloat. I remember the dark times. So this is an opposite post. Today I offer a message of hope and caring to my friends on the other side of the aisle. Oh shit. Yet another political post. I apologize in advance. Just like my bladder, I’m unable to control myself.
It’s always darkest before the dawn. Fortunately dawn only comes every 24 hours. Actually, every 23-1/2 if we assume dawn is about a 30-minute process. That’s a lot of darkness.
–Tom B. Taker
Breaking news: Barack Obama won the election. White people, of course, loved the wealthy elderly white guy. Obama did worse with that bunch than even Michael Dukakis. (He ran for president in a losing effort in 1988. It’s true, look it up.) Meanwhile the non-whites in America basically all went for the other guy. This group includes blacks, Latinos, college students, educated professionals, gays and lesbians, and last but not least, Asian-Americans.
If you’re a Romney voter I want you to know that I understand how you feel. I’ve been there, done that. 2004 anyone? I truly understand that feeling of dispair and hopelessness. But my speciality is bringing the good times so here’s a few positive things to remember:
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Random Music: All I Want by The Offspring
I had just finished saving as a “draft” something I had previously intended to post as my deep thought of the day. The post happened to be about the boss. It didn’t make the publishing cut, though, because it was too puss-ridden, even for me!
I was forced to save it and see if it can somehow be salvaged for later. This is a very routine sort of event on my blog. Most that go to Cemetery of Hateful Drafts never return to see the light of day. Sometimes, though, one gets through, usually as a zombie.
Running out of time, with today’s deadline looming, I decided to try to find a little extra inspiration. My plan: Gather my thoughts, clear my mind, focus, extend my aura, and reach out and see what awaits me…
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Speak No Evil, Tweet No Evil
Here in the Abyss we are proud to afford equal time for opposing points of view. In this episode, humor columnist Michael A. Stusser finds himself under a cloud of negativity and seeks out a “positivity intervention.” Let’s watch!
Speak No Evil, Tweet No Evil
Michael A. Stusser
Perhaps it was the corrosive nature of the websites I frequented. Maybe it was the inebriated pack of bullshitters I hung out with and our constant blasphemous banter, or the incessant cable-news cycle where frenzied and extreme viewpoints crowd out reasoned deliberation. Then again, it could have been the naked photos I found of my wife with another man that finally sent me over the edge. Regardless of the last straw, an omnipresent cloud of negativity was slowly but surely poisoning my future—and I aimed to do something about it.
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Aftermaths and Shit #AbyssPositivityDay
March 1, 2012, The Abyss Day of Positivity (as it came to be known) is officially in the books. Baseball fans will understand that the day is forever marked with an asterisk. Andrew Breitbart died and Rush Limbaugh’s “slut” comment was, at least for awhile, the #1 story on Google News. And Google’s new privacy policy went into effect.
For my part, the day was a mixed bag. There were some successes and some failures. That’s fairly typical output from me in the challenge department.
My humble overall goal for the day was to be “joyful” and remain positive for an entire 24 hours. Let’s see how I did by reviewing each item on my Top Ten list of ways I would be positive.
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